


What I Want to Protect

by TheFanficMaster



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Clan Politics, Cousin Incest, Danzo doesn't fuck shit up, M/M, Mutual Pining, Shisui is the hero we all deserve, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2019-07-04 09:19:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 27,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15838326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFanficMaster/pseuds/TheFanficMaster
Summary: Everything goes as planned and Shisui begins working with Hiruzen to prevent the Uchiha coup. But change doesn't come in the blink of an eye and there are things Shisui desperately wants to protect, no matter what the cost.





	1. The Beginning of the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Just a few notes before we begin.
> 
> 1\. On their ages, I am going off of the anime canon, so both are still underage here.  
> 2\. There will be smut in this story. If it's not your cup of tea, I suggest moving on to a different one, though it won't happen for quite a while. This is a slow burn after all.  
> 3\. Not everything is going to be 100 percent perfect--I do have someone who is well versed with the novels and such correcting me on things, but I'm sure some things will slip through. This is canon divergence, so expect some changes! I had to make quite a few to make this alternate plot work.  
> 4\. Please review!

Shisui never once thought he would hear talk of peace from Fugaku Uchiha in his lifetime, not ever since talk of a coup had begun. Fugaku was set in his ways, stubborn in all the wrong places. Shisui followed him as a member of the Uchiha, even as an outcast, but he never truly agreed with his methods.

This is how the plan had begun. Shisui had become a double agent for Konoha, using the Uchiha's trust in him to use the Kotoamatsukami on Fugaku. He had been terrified at first that it might not have worked—though why he felt that way, he didn't know. He had confidence in his abilities, if he hadn't then he never would have volunteered the idea in the first place. But it was such an important meeting and so much was counting on him that failure could very well lead to war and death. He didn't want that to happen.

There was so much here that he wanted to protect.

Fugaku's own son was one of those things, well sons. But one in particular, the eldest, Shisui was close to. He had been Itachi's best friend since they were children, far too young to play a part in the shinobi world but geniuses in their own right and with the full rights of an adult while barely being old enough to be left alone in the house by civilian standards. Itachi was a gentle man, despite his shinobi status, and Shisui admired him a lot, though saying as such to Itachi might not be the best idea. Itachi seemed to shy away from admiration these days, even from his younger Brother.

Shisui was one of the few that knew of his mental exhaustion, of the way the clan was driving Itachi deep into his own mind. And yet this was a man with a seemingly never-ending amount of self-control; no killing intent could be found in his gaze, in his aura, even in the most maddening of situations. Shisui, despite being a rather calm shinobi himself, had never heard of anything like it in all his years. Itachi was exceptional and he wanted to protect him and the little glowing eyes of Sasuke Uchiha and the gentle, feminine face of Mikoto Uchiha who was more like a Mother to him than he wanted to admit deep down. He may not be fond of Fugaku, but he loved Fugaku's family. And war may end it all, drive them all to their deaths, or worse...madness.

There wasn't much Shisui wouldn't do to prevent that, no matter what he had to sacrifice. He was, after all, a loyal shinobi of Konoha. Despite his own biases, it was his duty to prevent fatal unrest between the village and the Uchiha. He would uphold that duty with the highest of honors.

Even still, even though everything had gone on without a hitch, there was still unrest amongst the Uchiha. Shisui had been prepared for this—it was foolish, after all, to think that months upon months of conditioning could possibly be uprooted and reversed in one singular night even with a jutsu on the high ranking members of the Uchiha. Even with Fugaku's opinion beginning to change, there were those that still firmly fought for a coup and Shisui's duty was to keep an eye on them while reporting back to Hiruzen about the changes in the atmosphere.

At the same time, he had another duty, one that he felt increasingly uncomfortable with. Even with the coup plans slowly being derailed, many continued to be suspicious of Itachi, including his own Father. Shisui didn't like being the one to “spy” on his best friend, but he was the best person for the job...and the best person to derail their trail. Shisui knew the truth, but he wasn't going to tell them. He wasn't foolish enough to hand over that sort of information and betray his best friend's trust like that.

There wasn't much that he wouldn't do for his best friend. Unfortunately, this meant he was a double agent in not one, but two places.

Currently, Shisui was leaving a meeting with the Hokage, Hiruzen, and was heading back to the Uchiha compound. Or he was, until he felt a familiar chakra approaching from the entrance gates.

Shisui's mouth twitched in a smile before he knew what it was doing and he leaned against a tree, knowing full well the ANBU would sense his chakra and meet him before going home. Sure enough, there was a flash of movement and he was face to face with an ANBU wearing a white mask with black marks.

Shisui motioned for Itachi to follow and they slid into the trees—civilians and most Shinobi aren't supposed to know who are ANBU, after all, and Itachi doesn't seem too keen on heading to the ANBU headquarters to change first.

Once far enough into the forest that Shisui is confident they won't be heard, he turned to his best friend who already was slipping his mask off, revealing long locks of hair that still seemed deep in color despite their lack of wash.

Shisui tilted his head, noticing all the little things most wouldn't. There was a tilt in the other's stance that indicated his hip was bothering him, he seemed less steady on his feet than normal (which meant he was about on par with a normal person's balance, a drastic difference), and there was dirt on the black parts of the white mask.

“What happened, Itachi...?” He asked, fondness slipping into his tone without him meaning it to. “You look exhausted.”

“Unexpected ambush,” he answers simply. “It was taken care of, hn.” A short and simple answer, not much more than Shisui had expected. Even still, Itachi's signs of exhaustion were becoming clearer and clearer to him everyday. And this scared him.

Because if they were clear to him, they might begin to be noticeable to somebody else. And Itachi didn't need that. It meant Shisui had to work harder to hide the traces of Itachi's mental landslide. If the clan became anymore suspicious than they already were, there would be hell to pay.

All he could think about was that he had to protect Itachi and the village, both from themselves and the Uchiha.

“You should go home and change if you won't go to your locker to do it,” Shisui insists. “I'll go with you to divert attention away from you, if you're worried about that.”

Though Itachi didn't know exactly how suspicious the clan was of him, he did know it was happening. Shisui just didn't want Itachi to grow nervous. He had enough to worry about as it is.

“Hn...I wanted to meet you first before going home.”

Shisui tilted his head. “Is...that it...?” He coughed into his hand and shifted his stance, giving a little grin and rubbing the back of his head. “Well, you've met me. Come on, lets get you taken care of.”

They took the roofs back to the Uchiha compound. A few vendors waved at them as they passed, but most people greeted Itachi by name and ignored Shisui. The older Uchiha cared very little about their opinion and smiled anyway. Since he was supposed to be “spying” on Itachi, he didn't think anyone would find it suspicious that he was escorting his friend home.

They arrived at the front door within minutes at a leisurely pace. Unfortunetly for Itachi, the opening of the door revealed a happy Sasuke. “Big Brother!”

Itachi gave a weak smile and hurried past him with a mere brush of his hand through Sasuke's hair. He didn't want Sasuke to see him wounded.

Shisui sighed at Itachi's blunt attitude and stayed behind a moment to ruffle Sasuke's hair and reassure him that Itachi wasn't ignoring him and was just tired before following Itachi. The Uchiha had already headed into the bathroom, but had left it unlocked. Shisui knocked once to announce himself before slipping in and locking the door behind him, eyes still trained toward the door for several moments before turning around.

Itachi was already filling up the bath, completely bare as he washed his face with a cloth, sitting on a stool beneath a shower head. Shisui smiled fondly and sat on the edge of the tub, having seen Itachi naked so many times he wasn't outwardly nervous at being in close contact with him while he was like this. What it did to his heart was a different story, but Shisui had done a good job of masking it.

“Hn...you know...” Itachi pondered allowed as he slipped into the warm bathwater. Shisui tilted his head, arms still crossed and regarded the slick hair of Itachi as he ran his fingers through the silky strands. “I always wondered why you stopped bathing with me and Sasuke a few years ago, but I never asked to respect your privacy.”

Shisui took a breath and schooled his expression. “And what's changed?”

“My curiosity got the better of me.”

Shisui laughed despite himself, the sound light and airy and not reflecting the conflict raging inside him at all. He had gotten good at that over the years. “It's nothing to worry about. I just grew out of it, is all. That's something you do when you're kids.”

He was lying through his teeth.

* * *

 

  
He remembered the day he had stopped bathing with Itachi all too clearly. It was a few years ago, Sasuke must've been four at the time. They were sharing a bath together in this very room, Itachi washing Sasuke's hair and letting him play around in the tub water while Shisui laughed at their antics. Being an older brother must be exhausting really.  
The fact that he didn't think of Itachi like a younger sibling had already clued him in somewhat. But it was puberty age for the both of them and on that day, he had found himself noticing how slender his companion's hips were, how they curved up to broadening shoulders he couldn't help but be mesmerized by. He noticed the long hair draped over his shoulders and the muscles moving under the skin. He saw and he noticed and the image imprinted itself behind his eyelids to the point he couldn't stop seeing it.  
And feeling the way he felt in response.  
  


Later, Shisui stands behind Itachi who is seated in a chair. Itachi stared straight ahead while Shisui ran a brush through wet, ebony strands that kept trying to cling to his shirt and leave wet spots everywhere. It also revealed a pale curve of skin that Shisui desperately wanted to kiss, but he laughed off the urge and made a joke about how Itachi should have left his shirt off until the hair dried.

  
After, Shisui went to leave, only to be stopped by Mikoto who met him at the door. “Please stay for dinner at least. You never stay over here anymore.” There were reasons for that; his feelings for Itachi aside, he and Fugaku also didn't get along very well on a personal level. Professionally? They spoke when they had to. But outside of work? Shisui preferred not to be in the same room with someone who didn't like him.

  
But Mikoto asked him again and he broke this time and said yes, so an awkward dinner later in which Fugaku ignored the existence of a guest at their table, Shisui found himself spreading out the guest futon in Itachi's room. It was quiet, Mikoto and Fugaku had already put Sasuke to bed and retired themselves for sleep. They were the last to head to bed. Itachi looked thoughtful, however, and usually that meant he had no plans on going to sleep.

  
“Is something wrong, Itachi?” Shisui flops down on his futon and buries his face in the pillow, making an exaggerated noise of contentment. Itachi smiles softly at him, but blinks and the expression is gone, back to the one he was holding before.

  
“Do you ever have nightmares...?”  
“Nightmares...?” He rolls over to face Itachi, holding his head up with his hand. “Yeah, sometimes. All shinobi do. Why?”

  
“...” Itachi was silent for a moment, eyes darting about slowly, before landing on the edge of the bed. “...I keep...having these nightmares. They make me not want to go to sleep.” That explained some of the other Uchiha's exhaustion, though Shisui had tended to the hip wound after the bath. “They're...violent...”

  
“Violent...?” Shisui purses his lips and approaches the subject carefully. “...What sort of...violent?”

  
“...A kind of violence I hope I'm not capable of. I keep...dreaming about..killing...everyone.” He turned to face Shisui then and a chill crept down his spine at the almost frightened look in the other's eyes. “Shisui, I don't know where the thought even came to mind. I never once wanted to do that.”

  
“You wouldn't do that Itachi. Not without good reason,” His heart sped up considerably, mind already considering all the things that this might mean. Itachi was rare to anger and had never unlocked his killing intent. Was this his recent frustrations with the clan working their way to the surface in Itachi's mind?

  
When the time came to report about Itachi, Shisui left that part out.

 


	2. Seed of Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeds have been planted. Now all that's left is to watch them grow.

“How are you faring...?”

Shisui glanced up from where he knelt at the Hokage's back, watching his silhouette in the sun reflecting onto the balcony. Normally, an important shinobi like Hiruzen would never dare turn his back so easily to an ANBU, let alone one that was supposed to be a double agent. Such usually gave the impression that one was easily swayed and that his loyalty could easily be bought by the other side.

With Shisui however, Hiruzen didn't have a shred of mistrust in him. Shisui had been completely honest about his intentions, about his fears and feelings, even the ones that would have other shinobi scoffing at him in distaste. For a shinobi to be honest like that took great trust. And if Shisui held him in such high esteem, the least Hiruzen could do was treat him in the same esteem.

“It is...going slow, as expected,” Shisui explained and Hiruzen didn't turn around. “...I...Hokage-sama...if I could I would use the jutsu again but--”

“I understand. I believe it to be for the best you cannot,” Shisui blinked up at the elderly man in surprise. “After all, you have sewn the seeds of peace. In order for seeds to grow, we must have patience. Nurture them, but do not try to force them, or they will die.”

It was both a caring explanation and a warning all in one. “I understand.”

It was silent for several moments before Shisui spoke again. “...About the other matter...I volunteer myself.”

“...I do not believe that to be the best idea.” Hiruzen crossed his arms behind his back. “Though we have apprehended and confined him and Root has been disbanded, there are still those that consider themselves loyal to Danzo. Without interrogating every single member of the village with a Yamananka, there are no sure ways to know who these people are. Furthermore,” he uncrossed his arms and blew smoke from his pipe, pointing it into the distance.

“Danzo already fears you enough that he was determined to undermine your power and use it for himself. While we have planted a seed of hope for the Uchiha, one of hatred has also been born. Hatred for you.”

Shisui stared down at the ground, his fists clenching ever so slightly. “Then...what are we going to do...?”

“...I think you know the answer to that.”

“...I see.” He wished he could request someone else, but...he understood Hiruzen's reasoning. Placing Itachi on a mission like this where he is to watch a public enemy of the Uchiha would put him in good favor and might even help their plan along. It was too dangerous to put Shisui in charge of it. Itachi was the next best option, even if Shisui disliked it for personal reasons.

He didn't want Itachi anywhere near Danzo. The thought made his skin crawl.

“All right.”

“I'll summon him after you leave. Others might become suspicious of you two if I meet with you both at the same time.”

“Yes. That is for the best.”

Hiruzen glanced back, eyes softening. “...Trust in him. It is the best thing one can do for the ones we love, no matter how painful it can be.”

Shisui halted from where he'd been about to jump off the balcony and nodded before leaping into the distance. Hiruzen watched before turning to walk back into his office, feeling a heartache of his own coming on.

Danzo, after all, had been a very dear friend of his.

_My friend...you are blinded by your hatred of the Uchiha...and look at what has become of you._

Hiruzen had believed, but he had been blind. He hoped the same did not happen to Shisui.

* * *

 

There were whispers of course, but Itachi paid them no mind as he headed to report to the Hokage from the ANBU headquarters. He was still dressed in his uniform, but had needed to meet with the head of ANBU first before heading to the Hokage.

Danzo was still quiet about his imprisonment, having not been much of a talker in the first place until Konoha was mentioned. The old man was almost seething in his silence and Itachi could feel the aura in the air even as him and his team of ANBU went about checking up on him.

Itachi was supposed to measure Danzo's threat to Konoha. Itachi however, felt Danzo was more of a threat to the Uchiha than Konoha as a whole. Danzo wanted to protect Konoha in his own way, even if he had gone out of his way to do it and had forsaken an entire group of people.

There were prejudiced people in the world. It was always good to remember that.

Itachi did not judge him. It was not his duty to judge Danzo for his sins again Konoha. But it was his duty to make a decision.

Once he was alone with Hiruzen, the Hokage staring at him with intense eyes, Itachi slowly straightened up. “I believe he is too blinded by his hatred of the Uchiha to be allowed to roam freely. However, as dangerous as it is to keep him within the village, being unable to keep him under surveillance could urge former members of root to betray Konoha for their Leader. It could also inspire him to make new allies. Neither of these are in Konoha's greatest interest.”

“The Uchiha are but one pillar that hold the village afloat,” Hiruzen begins, closing his eyes. “But if one pillar falls, the structure and integrity of a foundation lessens. Once one collapses, the rest will surely follow. This, I believe, is what Danzo does not understand. And I am disheartened to say it, but...I believe you are right.”

Itachi nodded solemnly. “...You wish me to continue my surveillance?”

“Yes. Your friend volunteered, but...I have a bad feeling.”

“...A bad feeling...?” Itachi pursed his lips and tilted his head. “...What...do you mean...?”

Hiruzen slowly stood, walking to stand by the window. “...I do not trust Danzo around any Uchiha, but hatred was born in him in particular for one that night that has not been relinquished. We must not allow Shisui to come in contact with Danzo. I fear what he might be planning. We cannot allow him to gain access to Shisui's eyes.”

“...I understand.” Shisui's jutsu would be formidable in the hands of someone like Danzo.

“You are dismissed,” Hiruzen said quietly and Itachi bowed before leaving the way he'd come. Hiruzen watched him dart across the rooftops toward the Uchiha compound. _These children...in so much pain so young. If only I could believe in change like Jiraya does._

* * *

 

Itachi senses Shisui's presence long before he drops down from the sky behind Itachi. Itachi had his arms crossed as he watched Sasuke's target practice. Itachi praised him for his good work and turned his head to address Shisui who came up close behind him. It seemed Sasuke had either not yet noticed Shisui's presence, or was too caught up in his training to acknowledge him for the moment.

“How is he doing?” Shisui asks quietly and Itachi nods toward his younger brother, who grins when he manages to land a firm hit on the target. “...He's improving. I wish I had the time for this more often.” His eyes softened as he watched Sasuke and Shisui's heart ached something fierce.

_I want to protect you both, so much. I would do anything._

His voice lowers. “They're becoming more suspicious of you, believing you might be a double agent for Danzo.” Itachi's sharp eyes dart back to him, something flaring in his pupils. Shisui knew this to be anger—though Itachi did not have killing intent, he showed his frustration in other ways. Shisui was one of the few that knew these ways intimately. “I have done everything I can to convince them otherwise, but I can't say for certain they won't take their suspicions further. Watch yourself, Itachi. You're exceptional, but the Uchiha are as stubborn as they are proud. You understand.”

Itachi turned his gaze back to Sasuke and nodded quietly, not responding outside of his body language, which had grown too loose, so much so it was obviously done on purpose.

Shisui understood. No reason to worry Sasuke.

Sasuke finally seemed to notice Shisui and came bouncing over, clinging to his leg. Shisui laughed and ruffled Sasuke's hair, heart melting the ice over it for the first time in several minutes.

He remembered eating dinner with them, training with Itachi, bathing with them, picking out clothes with them, Itachi telling him about his nightmares...  
They had become his family. And he would make sure they didn't become so entangled in this mess that there was nothing left of them to salvage.

Sasuke goes back to his training and Shisui settles to lean against the tree beside Itachi, staring off into the sunset instead of watching Sasuke.

“You know...” He thinks of their smiles, thinks of his aching, fluttering heart and compares it to his duty, to how he feels about Konoha. “...I'm...a terrible shinobi.”

Itachi tilted his head, eyes inquisitive. But Shisui shook his head and grinned, reaching over to flip the other's ponytail.

Later, Itachi settled in his futon and stared up at the ceiling. This evening's dinner had been cold and he knew why. It was because of him. The tension could be felt so thickly that even Sasuke had been afraid to speak.

_I'm growing weary of this._ He turned on his side, curling his legs upward a little and trying to swallow around the knot in his throat and stomach. ANBU didn't feel right anymore, especially with how he was being suspected.

But if he quit ANBU, his Father's reaction would be far worse.

_...What do I do...?_

The answer wasn't clear to him anymore.

 


	3. Around the Campfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi and Shisui decide to do something about Naruto, which ends up in the both of them being sent on an errand by the Hokage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have used the headcanon that Itachi has always been of ill health and that it only increased once he got older due to his overuse of sharingan. Explaining that because it's mentioned in this chapter.

“Are you sure you're feeling well enough to be walking around?”

“It isn't a bad wound, Shisui,” Itachi began, sending an almost exasperated look his cousin's way—it was too soft for that, but the feeling was still there. “I am not going to collapse.”

“Maybe not,” Shisui shrugged, but the worry was obvious in his voice. “But it's making you favor your side. I don't...I don't want others to notice that.”

Itachi blinked with surprise before he reached over and pinched Shisui's cheek. He winced. “What did I do to deserve that little cousin?”

“You're making a big deal out of nothing.”

Shisui opened his mouth to answer—that it wasn't nothing, Itachi's health was not and would never be nothing to him—when a shout distracted him.

He looked up just in time to see a little boy about Sasuke's age thrown from a grocery shop and landing on his back on the ground, a cry of pain leaving his lips as the shopkeeper, a balding older man, stood over him.

“Don't you dare come into this shop! My son died in that attack, you son of a bitch!”

“I-I didn't do anything! I just wanted to buy some food!”

Shisui frowned, body frozen in place. How long had this been going on? They had been busy with trying to stop the Uchiha coup and it had kept them from normalcy, including walks like this one. Why was the police force doing nothing? That was unlike the Uchiha.

Especially given who the boy's Father was. Fugaku and Minato had been good friends. He remembered a warm smile like the sun and a hand on his head that had felt powerful and comforting at the same time. How could they treat a child this way, even if they didn't know whose son he was?

Before Shisui could act however, Itachi had already moved.

“He's a child and the way you're acting is inappropriate.” Itachi spoke quietly, but with conviction and helped a confused Naruto to his feet. “Do not take your anger out on a child that does not deserve it. It is unjust. I expected better of someone of your standing.”

The shopkeeper seemed to be frozen under Itachi's stare, but did nothing but turn and slam his door shut. Naruto blinked up at Itachi and then grinned. “Hey, you're Sasuke's super cool older brother! Thanks a lot!”

Itachi seemed to freeze, unsure how to respond, but Shisui laughed and knelt down in front of Naruto, ruffling his hair. “That's right, he's super cool isn't he?” He leaned in to whisper in Naruto's ear. “Too bad he doesn't know it. Why don't you tell him more?”

“Shisui--” Itachi “mcawkward” Uchiha raised his hands, but was already bombarded with a very excited Naruto clinging to his arm. Shisui snickered and crossed his arms, quickly forgotten. He didn't mind however. His expression slowly hardened again.  
They needed to be careful about this. What Itachi had just done wasn't very smart. It was likely Shisui would need to pay close attention to the police force and their relationship with the citizens now. He didn't trust that shopkeeper to not spread around that the police force helped, “The demon fox.” He scowled—Itachi was right, this was disgusting. They needed to talk to Hiruzen.

Naruto was a child. A little boy who didn't even know why people abused him. Something needed to be done about this.

* * *

 

The aura coming from the Hokage's desk was one of thick killing intent. Shisui wasn't intimidated persay, but he did feel a cough coming on in the back of his throat. Itachi was beside him, stoic and unbothered, aura clean as always.

Shisui envied his lack of killing intent at times. It was such a pure thing to not have any and it showed a lot about his little cousin's personality.

“I believe, Hokage-sama,” Itachi spoke finally. “That in order to avoid these incidents, Naruto needs to have a legal guardian. I understand how hard you've worked to prevent this injustice, but...a child is suffering needlessly.”

Hiruzen sighed and rubbed his temples. “The problem here is that technically he does have a legal guardian.” Itachi raised a brow, but before he could ask more, Hiruzen continued. “Jiraya, the toad sage. Jiraya is his godfather, but he's been gone from here for some time. As for me, I spend most of my time in this office, or I would have taken him in myself. And...I tried asking some of the other adults, but that did not go over so well.”

“So we'll have to bring in someone from outside the village?”

Hiruzen nodded, but looked none too happy about it. “The prejudice this village holds toward Naruto is too great, I fear that attempting to set him up with a guardian here would only lead to more abuse. It appears I have not been diligent enough...I will apologize to him personally when this is all sorted out.”

Shisui frowned and leaned nonchalantly against the desk. Itachi stared at him with disapproval, but said nothing about it. Finally, Hiruzen sat up straighter.

“I have a mission for you both.”

Shisui grimaced. “Is it long term? Because Danzo...”

“Don't worry about Danzo, while you are gone I will have one of my personal ANBU take over the task.” Hiruzen dug a picture out of his pocket and set it on the table. Shisui and Itachi leaned over to look at it and Shisui frowned. He recognized the blonde woman from somewhere. “This woman, her name is Tsunade Senju and she was once my student. She left Konoha quite some time ago and we've been trying to get her to come back ever since. There was talk of her becoming Hokage. But you were both probably too young to remember most of it.”

“You want us to retrieve her?” Itachi asked cautiously, picking up the photo. He vaguely remembered having seen her at least once. He didn't remember what her personality was like however, so it must have been before he activated his sharingan.

“Exactly. I believe once she hears what is going on with Naruto, she can be convinced to come back, so long as we don't try to talk her into becoming Hokage.” There is a kind of exhaustion in Hiruzen's voice that raises an eyebrow from Shisui, though he says nothing. “I will list down all her favorite gambling spots in the paperwork. In the meantime, I suggest you both get ready to leave.”

Itachi and Shisui shared a silent look—this was turning into a very strange day.

* * *

 

“I told you,” Itachi actually dares to sound the slightest bit amused as he watched Shisui bite into what was probably the most burnt fish he'd ever laid his eyes on. “...to pay attention to the fish.”

“You could have pulled it off the fire,” Shisui complained, but forced himself to eat the fish anyway. Catching them had been enough of a pain in the ass that he didn't quite fancy wasting any of it, no matter how nasty his cooking had turned out.

“But you wouldn't learn anything if I did that.”

“You are so cruel little cousin. Remind me not to watch your fish when you have to go to the bathroom!”

“I would not have this problem—this is why I left to do so before we started cooking.” The unspoken, 'Because I actually thought ahead' was left unsaid. Shisui reached over and flipped Itachi's ponytail.

It had been a long time since he'd gotten the chance to sit around a campfire with Itachi like this—it made him remember the first time when they were children. They had been talking then too, eating fish they'd caught and enjoying one anothers presence while they camped the night away waiting for the morning to arrive.

It was nostalgic and without meaning to, Shisui had gone quiet. Itachi tilted his head to stare at him, noticing his new contemplative mood, but choosing not to comment on it.

“I suppose,” Itachi stood and reached up, pulling the tie from his hair and letting it fall down his back. “--that I will be taking the river first tonight.” It was still warm and his eyes would be able to lend him a hand for a brief period of time to watch for leeches. He needed to be quick however. He was efficient with his chakra, but his reserves were not as much as many other ninja. Frowning, he thought of the pills in his bag. His health was fragile and he loathed having to accommodate it, but he was used to it.

He didn't notice his companion's stare on him, piece of fish halfway to his gaping mouth. Shisui closed it after a moment, awareness coming back to himself as well as the sudden feeling of his own heartbeat reverberating loudly in his ears.

“I will...keep watch here then. Don't get bit by leeches.”

“I won't,” Itachi reassures him before grabbing a towel from his bag and heading off to the river. Shisui took this moment to swallow thickly and thank the heavens it was dark, for his cheeks were hot from the blood rushing to his face.

He couldn't be having reactions like that to Itachi. If Itachi found out about his feelings, things might get awkward between them. Shisui was allowed in between the deepest, darkest cracks in Itachi's psyche—he didn't want Itachi wondering what Shisui was thinking about all those times he saw him naked, or moments like this, and feeling awkward about it.

He ran a hand through his sweaty hair and finished the last bite of fish, throwing the stick he'd roasted it on into the fire. Dinner completed, there wasn't much left to do but wait for Itachi to get back. So, he waited in silence, occasionally throwing a twig into the fire and thinking about how he was going to cover their trail when they left. Though they didn't expect to be followed, it was a good habit to be in, especially when traveling outside of Konoha's usual territory.

All of this for a woman that frequented gambling joints and bars. Truthfully, Shisui wasn't sure what to make of her, but he would reserve his judgement until he met Tsunade Senju in person. Hopefully, she wasn't as much of a disaster as the impression of her he was getting from the Hokage's reaction and suggestion of her wherabouts. Naruto would need a stable guardian, not someone who drowned themselves in alcohol and spent all their money losing it to others through gambling.

There was the snap of twigs and the feeling of a familiar chakra. Shisui's heart nearly stopped in his throat when Itachi sat down and reached for his bag to retrieve his brush, delving it into his long hair to straighten it out. Shisui wanted to watch—there was something about Itachi's hair, about Itachi fussing over it, that made him weak in the knees.

But he had a bath to take as well, if a dip in the river could even count as one. And he needed to do so before the temperature dropped tonight.

“Don't wait up,” Shisui teased and received a “hn” in response before he gathered his own towel and disappeared toward the river, heartbeat still accelerated.

He was truly and inconceivably doomed.

 


	4. Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto gets his guardian. And Itachi makes a decision that will affect his life forever.

Shisui wasn't sure where he expected to find Tsunade Senju, but in a gambling joint with a bottle of sake in her hand was not where he had wanted to find her. It gave him a bit of a sour impression to start with and he didn't want that.

Drinking was all right...in moderation. Even moreso for an Uchiha, who usually had less alcohol tolerance than most. Shisui felt his cheeks heat up a little at the thought of the last time he had gotten drunk enough to be well and thoroughly trashed. That had been a while ago..

Tsunade had just lost a bet, from the looks of it, and she appeared to be very angry about it. Shisui stood off to the edge of the room watching her, unsure about how to safely approach, but Itachi stepped forward without hesitation.

His little cousin was going to give him a heart attack one of these days.

“...Tsunade Senju...” Itachi greeted her with a polite bow. “We've come on an important mission to retrieve you.”

She pursed her lips in a frown and drank from the bottle. “I have no intentions of returning to Konoha and becoming Hokage, no matter how much they ask.”

Shisui glanced at Itachi before shaking his head and finally speaking up. “It doesn't have to do with that. Another situation has come up, one that I'm sure you're going to be interested in.”

“What could be interesting enough that they send two obviously high ranking ANBU to retrieve me...?” She eyed them suspiciously, her eyes landing mostly on Itachi. It was obvious she recognized them, though whether she still remembered their names or not Shisui didn't have the heart to ask.

“It is about the Fourth Hokage's son.”

Shisui visibly winced. They shouldn't be having this conversation right here. At least Itachi hadn't said the boy's name alongside who his Father was. There were eavesdroppers everywhere.

Tsunade straightened up and sighed, gesturing for the two of them to follow her. They kept a respectful distance behind her, but slipped into a back room unhindered. She took a seat on a bench with the paint peeling off in blue scraps and littering the floor, the dignified manner in which she suddenly held herself a sharp contrast to the run down appearance of the place. “What's going on with Naruto?”

Before Itachi could speak, Shisui spoke up. “..The citizens of Konoha have not accepted him. He has been living on his own without a legal guardian. The Hokage has done his best to look after Naruto, but he needs a legal guardian. And since Jiraya, the Toad Sage, is nowhere to be found, we were sent to retrieve you.”

“I have suspicions,” Itachi spoke up next. “That the villagers may be starving him. We witnessed him being thrown from a store and he left without buying anything. He claims the ramen shop gives him free food, but other than that, there was very little food in his apartment and he is far too skinny. It is no wonder he is behind his classmates.” How was a child supposed to focus on learning or fighting when they were shaking from hunger? When Naruto had gripped him in a hug, there was a tremble in his small frame that wasn't normal. Naruto was surprisingly resilient for a child his age—the Fox likely had to do with that, healing any damage Naruto took which likely also included internal damage from starvation—but to deal with that for a prolonged period of time was nothing less than torture.

Tsunade's fists had been clenching around her bottle, but suddenly the bottle smashed between her fingers. Shisui winced and took a step back, while Itachi's eyes widened just the slightest bit with surprise. It wasn't an outward reaction, but Shisui noticed it nonetheless.

“What the fuck is Hiruzen doing, allowing this to happen to Minato's kid?! To any kid inside of the village?!” A vein pulsed in her forehead and for the first time, Itachi took a step back, bowing his head slightly in respect. Shisui felt sweat gather at his brow. For even Itachi to show a sign of fear, well...

Tsunade Senju was not to be messed with. There was a reason she was one of the Legendary Sannin, after all.

“And Jiraya, when I get my hands on him--!” She slammed her fist on the table. “All right, I'll do it. But--” And Shisui mentally shrunk himself to the size of a pea under the killing intent pouring into the room, thick and heavy enough to make it hard to breathe. “I'm going to have a little talk with our Hokage first.” Her former sensei...how could he have let this happen? Was he really blind to Naruto's suffering? What was he thinking?

But Shisui knew the answer to that. Hiruzen was what a Hokage was supposed to be.

He'd chosen the village over an individual.

* * *

 

There were rumors about what had happened. Of course there were. Itachi and Shisui had been seen escorting Tsunade into the village and after that, Naruto mysteriously moved out of his old apartment into a new home.

And whenever he went out for groceries, he was always accompanied by Tsunade Senju, who the shopkeepers learned very quickly would not tolerate the raised prices they were trying to sell their goods to Naruto for. Many even stepped down, some shops closing entirely while others were handed down to people much more fitting for the job. Naruto seemed very confused about the whole thing, but he liked Tsunade, even going as far as to call her Obaa-chan. She huffed about it, but tolerated it, and within days Naruto's complexion started to look a little more normal for a child to have. Sasuke commented on it when asked, though he avoided the subject of Naruto for the most part. Shisui wanted to shake his head—those boys and their rivalry.

But while they had done a good thing, there were going to be consequences. Already, people were glaring even harder at the Uchiha as they went about their daily business. And not for the first time, Itachi was between a rock and a hard place.

Except he'd made it worse.

“That child you've been starving half to death is the child of the Fourth Hokage.”

Shisui felt his heart sink into his shoes. There was no way Itachi would get out of this without being punished. That was a longstanding secret for Naruto's own good. Of course now that he had a guardian, it was different and maybe less necessary, but Itachi had hardly asked permission before divulging such a hard kept secret to a shopkeeper hardly worthy of it. The man gaped at him in stunned silence, but Itachi kept walking, seemingly unconcerned.

Shisui jogged to meet him, yanking on his sleeve and ducking them into a teahouse.

Once seated in a lonely corner with tea and dango, Shisui leaned forward and flipped Itachi's ponytail. “Even you won't get away with this, you know that right? The Hokage has to punish you.”

“I am well aware of this,” Itachi shipped at his tea, eyes closed and seeming relaxed like he didn't have a care in the world. Shisui pursed his lips in a frown, something flashing in his eyes as he sat back against his seat.

What was Itachi thinking? Had he finally snapped? Did he no longer care about the consequences? Was there something Itachi wasn't telling him?

His heart had begun to race without him meaning it to and he nearly choked on his tea. Itachi raised an eyebrow at him, but Shisui coughed and reached for the dango instead.

“All these years and I still don't know what's going on in that head of yours, Itachi.”

There's a blink and Shisui can almost physically feel the wall in front of him beginning to sink into the Abyss. He smiles a little with success, but his heart nearly went into his throat when Itachi spoke.

“...I'm going to try and get Tsunade to take me on as an apprentice.”

* * *

 

Itachi was later summoned by the Hokage for the scolding he knew he would receive. His pay reduced for a week was hardly something of concern to him, but he took the lenient punishment with grace and dignity. His decision had been reckless. And when he returned home, his Father was already there, red in the face, and demanded to know what exactly he was thinking, only seeming to grow angrier when Itachi didn't react to his scolding.

Perhaps a part of him was snapping. Perhaps, deep down inside, something was giving way.

He was exhausted of living up to their expectations. So they could swallow them whole.

The next day, Itachi made a point to be seen coming to check on Naruto. He received Naruto's excited hug with a pat on the head he normally reserved solely for Sasuke and smiled kindly at Tsunade.

“How...are you both settling in?”

“I've kicked more asses than I thought I would have to and I'm disappointed in this damn place, but at least I know he's being looked after now.”

Itachi's eyes softened and he ruffled Naruto's hair, earning a loud, boisterous laugh. But when he straightened up, his expression was blank.  
“Tsunade-sama,” she raised an eyebrow at how he addressed her, but said nothing about it. “...I wish to speak with you.”

“Is this grown up stuff?” Naruto huffed and crossed his arms, visibly put out. “There have been too many grumpy adults in here lately.”

“And you're a little brat,” Tsunade huffed, but gently pushed his shoulder. “I'll come get you when we're done. Get ready, we're going to get stuff for dinner after.”

“Okay, Obaa-chan!” He waved his hand and ducked into his room while Tsunade bristled and put her hands on her hips.

“Brat!”

The sight of their playful banter made Itachi's heart ache. What he wouldn't give for their family to be like that.

It just wasn't meant to be. And he had to be strong for Sasuke.

“Now what is it?”

“...I...” His mouth felt dry—he was really doing this. “...I humbly ask to be taken on as your apprentice, Tsunade-sama. I no longer wish to be with ANBU. I feel like I am better suited to be a medical ninja.”

It was silent for several moments. “Can I ask why?” She crossed her arms, regarding him with a new, confused glint in her eyes. “That's a large change of profession.”

“I was never suited for ANBU from the start. I only joined because it was what my Father wished for me to do,” he explained, bowing his head slightly with respect. “I am a peace loving man. I would like to work for protecting the peace of the village and helping my loved ones. I cannot properly protect Konoha as an ANBU. I believe I would be much more useful as a medical ninja.” Happier as well, though that went unsaid. He didn't need to say it. From the way her eyes softened slightly, he knew that she understood.

“I'm not sure if you'll change your mind or not, but...I suppose I can spare some of my free time with you.”

He glanced up at her, a small smile tugging at the edge of his lips. “Thank you...Tsunade-sama.”

“We start tomorrow after Naruto goes to the Academy, so be ready.”

“Yes.”

Now...he needed to figure out how to tell his family.

 


	5. Path

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi finally chooses his path in life. Some are more happy about it than others.

Itachi had hardly been home more than a couple of minutes for the next few days. His family had asked about it of course—after all, they knew his ANBU schedule well, since his position in ANBU was very important to Fugaku. They knew that he didn't have ANBU missions on those days.

Itachi had been uncharacteristically secretive. This caused a rift between him and Fugaku, who seemed to be ignoring each other's existence. Sasuke tried not to notice it at dinner, but it was hard not to when the tension was thick enough to measure with tape.

Tsunade was impressed with his progress. Itachi was a quick learner and he had a knack for chakra control—he had no choice, his chakra reserves were almost dangerously low compared to some other shinobi; measuring how well he was using it was just a part of his everyday life.

Tsunade had tried asking him once again why he was doing this. For a star of ANBU to defect from it and decide to become a medical ninja of all things truly was remarkable to her. It didn't make any sense to her.

But his answer had remained the same. And she was starting to believe him.

“You're smiling again,” Shisui pointed out at dinner one night when Itachi had chosen to stay the night instead of go home and explain what he was doing. Itachi had been doing that a lot and Fugaku obviously was not happy about it, but Shisui hardly cared.

Especially if he got to see Itachi smiling at him like this.

He would do anything to protect that smile.

“...Oh...I guess I am.” And the smile widens in a way Shisui hasn't seen in a long time. “She's hard on me, but...it's...invigorating, this work. I enjoy it.”

“I see,” Shisui's eyes softened and he reached over to flip Itachi's ponytail. “I'm happy to hear that, Itachi.” He wanted to remind Itachi that he still needed to tell his family, but...well...he couldn't bring himself to ruin the atmosphere with 'what ifs'. Not right now.

Of course, it had to come out eventually. And a few days later, Itachi officially quit ANBU. He felt numb as he walked home as slowly as possible, wishing to prolong the inevitable. But he made it home eventually. There was a pit in his stomach the size of a black hole and it was eating away at him to the point he felt nauseous. He took a deep breath before entering the house, of course already finding Fugaku waiting for him. Mikoto was there too, though she looked more concerned than angry.

“Sit down, Itachi. We need to talk.”

Itachi continued standing, raising his head slightly. Fugaku's eyebrow raised and his scowl only grew darker at Itachi's disobedience. Itachi didn't back down however.

“You quit ANBU? Did you forget what ANBU meant to your place as the next head of Uchiha? What are you thinking?”

“I'm doing what makes me happy,” He spoke softly, but firmly and not lowering his head like he might have before. “...I wish to be a medical ninja. I work at the hospital now, my schedule will be more packed.”

“We're not done talking about this,” Fugaku's sharingan flared, but Itachi glared over his shoulder as he stopped halfway to his room. “This is unacceptable, it is betrayal of the Uchiha!”

“The fact that you think so saddens me. I merely want to be happy.” And he turned and went to his room. Mikoto followed him and watched as he began gathering his things, at least all that he could carry in a suitcase.

“Itachi,” she spoke quietly. “...I'm sorry about all this.” Because she always understood better than his Father did, because she was closer to Itachi than Fugaku was. Because she expressed her love in different ways.

Itachi appreciated it, but he had made up his mind. He closed the suitcase gently, not one to be rough with anything, and turned to give Mikoto a gentle smile. “...It's not your fault, Mother. I'm doing what I need to do for me. And...for me...being the perfect next head of Uchiha is...”

Killing him. Destroying him from the inside out.

She shook her head and walked further into the room, gently grasping his shoulder and pulling him into a hug. He blinked before closing his eyes and leaning into it. Sometimes he forgot how young he really was, that he was more than just a prodigy, just an Uchiha.

“No matter what you choose,” she spoke quietly, a hand on his head that was more gentle than he deserved. “...I will always be proud of you.”

He ducked his head, trying to hide the way his breath hitched with the pain in his chest. She knew, of course. She always knew.

“...Thank you. I'll...be in touch.”

Fugaku was locked in his office when Itachi left his room. He headed for the door.

“Nii-san,” Sasuke was clinging to his bedroom door, tears welling in his eyes. “Is it true...?”

Itachi tilted his head, resisting the urge to scold Sasuke for eavesdropping. It wasn't his place. “...It is. I'm sorry.”

Sasuke looked devastated, but Itachi turned and finally left the home with one destination in mind.

He was always welcome at Shisui's.

* * *

 

Sasuke sat alone with Mikoto at dinner. His Father had left earlier for some sort of meeting, but he didn't look to be in a very sociable mood. Sasuke had been too afraid to say goodbye to him, the tension in the air thick enough to feel and cut.

“...Is something the matter, Sasuke...?” Mikoto finally asked after several minutes of anxious silence and Sasuke ducked his head.

“...Father said that Nii-san betrayed us...is that true...?”

Her expression softened and she gestured for Sasuke to come closer. He scootched over to her side and was met with a gentle hand on the head. She closed her eyes and smiled for a moment to herself before opening them again.

“...No, it isn't. Your Father feels like his way is the only way, but that's not true.” She began, petting Sasuke's hair. “...There will come a time in your life where you will have to choose what path you want to take in life. It's important that when that time comes you follow what's in your heart instead of relying on what is expected of you.”

“Even if it makes Father angry?”

“Yes. He can be angry all he wants, but in the end,” a pat, “It's not his choice. It's yours. You get to choose what you want to do with your life. As parents, we are supposed to guide you to what we believe is the right path. However, that doesn't mean we're always right. Your Brother just realized the path we set for him wasn't the right one for him and made one of his own.”

“Oh...” Sasuke ducked his head, tears welling up in his eyes. “But...isn't a medical ninja less useful...?”

“No Sasuke. If anything, they're more useful than someone who just knows how to kill.” She brushed his hair out of his face, choosing her words carefully. “Medical Jutsu is something only a select few people can learn, so there are much less Medical Ninja than we need. They're responsible for healing injuries during battle and trying to prevent fatalities. They're very important. While your Brother won't be on the front lines anymore, he'll still be doing a very important job taking care of the sick and the wounded. It's important to have an appreciation for that job.”

“So I should be happy for Nii-san, even if I'm a little sad?”

“It's okay to be a little sad. But it's his choice, and I'm proud of him for making it. Just like I'll be proud of you for making your choices in the future.” She smiled and tweaked his nose, watching him squeak with a little laugh. “But it's important to be respectful. Just because he didn't do what you wanted him to do, doesn't change that he's your big brother and that he loves you.”

Sasuke stared down at the mat beneath them before nodding and looking up, expression determined. “Is it okay if I visit Nii-san tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

He hugged her tightly. “Thank you, Mom.”

“Anytime, dear.”

* * *

 

“--And someone came in with a broken arm. I was still a bit nervous, but I managed to heal it without messing it up. The first time I tried it, the bone was deformed, and Tsunade-sama had to redo it.”

Shisui snickered. “You can't be exceptional at everything at first, you know.” They were sitting around eating fish and rice with chopsticks. Itachi had quickly decided his new job was a perfect dinner conversation.

His companion didn't mind, of course. He ended up watching Itachi over his bowl as he deposited rice in his mouth. It had been a long time since he'd seen Itachi being this excited over...well..anything. It was amazing.

“You always call me that, but...” Itachi sips at his tea. “...I like not being exceptional at everything.”

“Oh?” Shisui's lips quirked in a soft smile. “...You're still exceptional to me.”

Itachi paused, but gave a little smile in return. Shisui's heart skipped and he forced himself to turn away.

“Thank you, Shisui.”

“...A...Anytime.”

There was a knock at the door.

Shisui stood, frowning. But Itachi interrupted him before a scowl could cross his face. “It's Sasuke.”

“Oh.” Shisui would've known that...if he was paying attention. But he wasn't. He was too busy trying not to blush.

Answering the door, Sasuke bowled into him. “Shisui-nii-chan,” Shisui sputtered a bit at the name, but Sasuke moved past him to barrel into Itachi in a hug. “...Nii-san!”

“Sasuke, what are you doing here?”

“Mom said I could come. I wanted to see you!”

Itachi resisted the urge to frown. He'd expected Sasuke to not want to see him after what had happened, but the boy seemed...happy.

“Sasuke...”

“I wanted to tell Nii-san that I'm happy that Nii-san is going to be happy from now on!”

Itachi was silent for a moment before he squeezed Sasuke in a hug, who squeaked. “Nii-san!”

“Thank you, Sasuke.” When he pulled back, he was smiling. “Thank you.”

Really.

Thank you.

Shisui watched, crossing his arms and grateful for Sasuke for telling Itachi exactly what he needed to hear.

 


	6. The First Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi makes the first move, Shisui nearly has a heart attack.

When the time came for Sasuke to head home, Itachi offered to walk him back, but Shisui put a hand up to halt him. “You're tired. Why don't you get ready for bed? I'll go ahead and take him. Besides, it's probably best you don't go back there right now.”

Itachi's lips pursed in a frown, but Shisui was right.

“Be careful.”

“Of course.”

Sasuke was grinning as he held Shisui's hand. Shisui smirked, unable to resist teasing the small boy as they made their way back to Sasuke's home. “...Can such a small hand really throw a shiruken?”

“Of course it can!” Sasuke pouted, puffing out his cheeks like the child he was, and it was somewhat refreshing to see a child acting like a child and not a soldier.

Years of practice avoided the misstep he almost took in response to his thoughts. Perhaps Itachi wasn't the only one going mad.

No, it was just...exhaustion, not madness. The exhaustion of being a child soldier, of never getting the chance to play around and learn who he was before he was expected to learn how to kill. The result was people with an easily twisted personality and a sense of naivety that only this sort of thing could bring about.

It was ironic, in a way, that learning to expect the worst in things made one naive. But it was the truth. That wasn't the way the world worked.

It was the way they were taught to think, in this world of child soldiers, in order to bring up formidable Ninja.

“You know,” Sasuke suddenly spoke up and Shisui blinked out of the daze he'd been in, realizing they were almost to Sasuke's house. His body had walked on autopilot. He shouldn't be surprised, but still he was. “Whenever something happens, Nii-san always runs to you.”

Wait...what...?

His cheeks darkened before he could stop it and he cleared his throat before reaching down to ruffle Sasuke's hair. “That's because your Brother is my best friend, Sasuke. That's what friends are for. He can always count on me.”

Sasuke tilted his head and he looked like he wanted to say something, but Mikoto was standing on the front porch and waved at them with a smile and Shisui waved back, pushing gently at Sasuke's shoulder. “You can come visit another day when you don't have school and we're not busy, all right?”

“Promise?”

“Of course.”

He sent Sasuke off to his Mother's arms and realized he had a lot to think about.

 

* * *

 

Shisui returned to the lights dimmed and Itachi sitting in the bath staring at nothing. When he knocked, the “hn” he got in response was as clear of an invitation as he was going to get and so he entered and closed the door behind him. He sat on the edge of the tub and stared in the opposite direction of Itachi, wondering when things like this had become commonplace between them.

Years ago. It had been years ago.

“Shisui, I'm sorry.”

He blinked and tilted his head, crossing his arms. “What for?”

Itachi sighed and rested his head on his bent knees, looking small. “...I still cannot go home. But I'm intruding on you. I'm sure me being here is causing problems for you.”

“Not at all, 'Tachi. You're my best friend,” he said with conviction, hardly giving Itachi time to finish his sentence. “You're always welcome here, no matter what the reason is or how long you need or want to stay. It's not a problem. If anything, I'm enjoying the company.”

Itachi ducked his head, but there was a tiny smile playing at the corner of his lips. Shisui pursed his and turned away, trying not to smile himself. Itachi's smile was...

Well...he loved it. There was a time when Itachi rarely ever smiled. He was smiling more now and he'd be damned if he let Itachi think things that made that smile go away.

Itachi can stay forever if it made him smile like that.

 

* * *

 

“You're getting good at this, 'Tachi.” Shisui tried not to smile, but he couldn't help it, even if it hurt to keep his arm still for so long. Mending a broken bone took a while, after all. Itachi had a frown on his face as he concentrated and Tsunade watched with approving eyes, her arms crossed over her chest and occasionally trying to disrupt Itachi's concentration—a test of sorts.

It never worked. From the satisfied smirk on her face, Shisui reckoned she was proud of that.

Itachi's chakra was warm. Warm like the sun on a spring day after a long mission out in the cold, or a night spent in the snow. It was warm like an innocent smile and Shisui felt his heart began to race without him meaning to, glad they'd already taken his vitals. If Itachi picked up on it, he said nothing, concentrating until he pulled back, allowing Shisui to move his arm. He gave it a flex, finding it still sore, but he was able to move it perfectly fine. Tsunade left after a quick once over to make sure her student did all right and Itachi was left with the note taking and cataloging.

“This...I think...” Shisui spoke up as Itachi wrote a note in his file. “...When you...heal...your heart...your true heart...comes through. I think. It's not like before.”

Itachi's writing halted and he tilted his head, eyes softening and that little smile Shisui adored so much crossing his lips. Shisui turned his head away and rubbed at his cheeks to dispel the blush, but the warm of Itachi leaning against his shoulder all of a sudden left him breathless. He closed his eyes and just focused on feeling it, on mapping how Itachi felt leaning against him, the curves of his body, the pattern of his breathing, and the beating of his heart.

It was a little fast, he noticed. This made his own jump in what he could only describe as a nervous sense of hope.

“Well nurse,” he teased and Itachi pulled back to glare playfully at him. “Do I have a clean bill of health? I'd like to go home and take a bath.”

“You'll probably be sore for a few days,” Itachi responded by writing something else in his file. When Shisui leaned over to see what it was, Itachi leaned away and pushed at his shoulder. “Confidential information.”

“It's my own file!”

“I don't care.”

Shisui huffed, but gave a playful smile. “Don't make me steal it.”

“Get out before I push you out.”

He laughed and stood, “All right all right, I'll leave you to it. Anything you want me to pick up for dinner tonight?”

“I'll do it on my way home,” he said suddenly, eyes flickering up to him again. “You need to go home and rest.”

“I'm fine, 'Tachi,” he reached up and ruffled the younger boy's hair. “It's just a broken bone. I've had one before. I'll live.”

“I know,” he said softly, so quiet that Shisui thought he might not have heard it at all as he left the room. “I just don't like seeing you hurt.”

His heart skipped a beat. Maybe he should lay down.

* * *

 

Whatever Shisui had been ignoring was coming at him full force. Either Itachi was completely oblivious that he was doing it, or he was doing it on purpose. Shisui couldn't seem to decide which one he was dealing with, only that it was one of them and his heart was going to give out if Itachi kept touching him like this.

It was little things. Itachi insisted on checking his arm when he got home, running his fingers along it and feeling along the joints. After he had trailed his hands up to rest on Shisui's shoulder while they talked.

And then, while telling Shisui about his day, he had reached down and played with the edges of Shisui's shirt, such an odd thing to do if one wasn't doing it on purpose.

And when they were done eating, he reached out and brushed their hands together as he was picking up the bowl to take it to the sink.

Shisui was absolutely convinced Itachi was either completely unaware of the affect he had on him, or...he was torturing him on purpose because he'd noticed.

He wasn't sure which one he feared more.

It continued into the night and finally, he glanced up when Itachi moved his futon close to Shisui's. It was such a large step from the other things Itachi had been doing that Shisui couldn't help but ask with a quiet voice, “What are we doing...?” Itachi paused and blinked at him in the dark and the silence was enough to make his heart race again. But when Itachi moved again, it was to push closer so he was half on Shisui's futon, resting his head on the older's shoulder so he could properly look him in the eye.

“I don't...I don't know,” he admitted, mimicking the same tone Shisui had used. “But I don't...I don't mind it. Whatever it is,” he sounded confused, but pleased. “...It feels good. I like it.”

Shisui's thoughts whirled to a stop when Itachi pressed closer and he closed his eyes against the sight of sleek black hair that was close enough to bury his nose in. He paused for a moment, unsure, before tentatively reaching out and wrapping a hand around Itachi's hip, gently tugging at him until they were both on the same futon.

Itachi was warm like a water bottle and it was soothing to the ache in his arm. He sighed unconsciously, Itachi's name leaving his lips like he didn't know where he was, or what to say or do. And he didn't.

Itachi tilted his head and looked at him and there was something in the air. And he knew. Itachi knew. And he was doing it on purpose.

Because he felt it too.

His fingers trembled and something in his chest felt heavy. He moved to speak, but his mouth and throat felt dry. It was hard to breathe. Itachi shifted his leg to push it between Shisui's and moved his head closer and Shisui's mind slowed to a stop when their lips brushed the first time.

They both paused, as if testing the limits, before Shisui shyly pressed back into the kiss, his hand sliding up Itachi's back to delve into the hair at the back of his head and tug him a little closer. Shisui trembled like a newborn, a fear in him so palpable being brought to the surface, but Itachi was warm and solid in his arms and he thought he might break.

But that was okay. He closed his eyes again and prayed he would shatter to pieces.

 

 


	7. The First Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first morning is often the most awkward. And meanwhile, someone is scheming...

The next morning is one of the most awkward mornings of Shisui's entire existence. This is not something he has experience with. Upon waking to the crown of Itachi's hair nuzzled up against his nose, he had tilted his head back, closed his eyes again and just breathed.

Breathe in, Breathe out.

It was Itachi. Itachi who he had tutored, mentored, who he had kept close all of these years, who ran to him when things went wrong, who made him feel amazing and small all at once, who was beautiful in a way Shisui didn't have words for. This...this... _pining_ he had felt...it was something he had dealt with for at least four years.

He was used to it.

He was not used to _this._

His mouth felt different. He wasn't sure what was different about it, except that he had kissed Itachi last night. No, Itachi had kissed him and he had kissed back. He had shook like he was falling apart with each little tentative brush of lips and eventually they had pulled away and tucked close together to sleep without talking about it further.

Whatever courage he'd had last night was gone. Suddenly he was mind-numbingly frightened. But there was something else deep inside him, something he was afraid to feel.

He was excited. This hopeful, yet nervous feeling in his chest was bubbling to the surface and making it difficult to breathe.

But he was still terrified to be excited. These conflicting feelings were going to drive him mad this early in the morning. He needed some tea.

Before he could move however, there was a gentle breath across his neck that indicated Itachi was waking up. He swallowed thickly and closed his eyes, resisting the urge to tremble again. A feeling that was almost like a shock had gone down his spine like a soft caress, leaving a pooling of warmth that made him want to shatter again so desperately he didn't know what to do with himself anymore.

And then he felt Itachi's eyes on him, gaze curious. He slipped his own open to meet them, hesitant, unsure. His breath left him again at the inquisitive look he found there, the curiosity, all of that directed at him, for him. His heart was racing and Itachi was pressed close enough he was sure he could feel the throbbing of it right through his skin.

The thought was so intimate, so close, the sharing of a heartbeat, that he had to close his eyes again, temporarily overwhelmed.

Whatever this was between them, Shisui still wasn't entirely sure what to do with it.

He feels a finger on his cheek and opens his eyes again. His thoughts crawled to a stop when he felt the coolness of Itachi's skin and he took the hand in his, rubbing it between his fingers to warm it. “...Jesus Itachi, you're so cold.”

Itachi's eyes seem to crinkle at the edges. “...I'm always cold Shisui.”

“I know. But this early in the morning? When you've been under the covers with me all night--” He nearly chokes, but forces himself to breathe. “Pills. Now.”

Itachi sighs, but rolls over and seems to hesitate a moment before reluctantly leaving the futon behind to pad across the floor to his bag. Shisui takes this moment to compose himself, even wincing when Itachi swallows a pill dry (how the hell did he do that? He would never understand).

“You're going to give me a heart attack one of these days.” He remembered thinking something similar a few days ago, when they found Tsunade and Itachi acted recklessly.

Itachi was a lot more reckless than people realized.

He was a lot more human.

He liked seeing Itachi like this, his shirt slightly hanging off his shoulder, hair mussed and unbrushed, eyes clouded with sleep he was still blinking away as he went about getting ready to be the first to take the bathroom.

Shisui could wake up every single morning to this for the rest of his life and feel blessed and happy.

He didn't know how to feel about that.

* * *

Breakfast was quiet, but not necessarily awkward. At least not from Itachi's end. Shisui was still thinking. This relationship, if they could call it that, was a new something that could be dangerous if went about it the wrong way. And now that his initial butterflies were beginning to wear off, he was starting to realize that he needed to keep this a secret.

A childish part of him cursed everything for it too. He wanted to shout from the rooftops that he'd kissed Uchiha Itachi. _I kissed him! I did it, I kissed him!_ He wanted to hold his hand, wanted to do stupid childish things like take him to the lake and watch the sunset cross over the water or camp outside together or--

But they couldn't do that. Because of the clan.

It was always...always because of the clan.

Shisui was beginning to grow as tired of it as Itachi was.

When they went to leave for their own respective duties, that was when Shisui brought it up. “...Itachi..” He cleared his throat. “...This...uh...whatever this is...we have to...keep it a secret. From the clan. If they knew...they might take me off 'spying' on you. And that...we can't risk that.” It would mean Itachi wouldn't have a filter between him and the clan. It would mean Itachi's human side being shown to the people that treated him like an object.

It would mean more feelings of outrage and loss among the Uchiha. They couldn't afford that, not right now. More than ever, he cursed the imbalance of things.

Itachi reached up to adjust Shisui's collar, nodding quietly. Shisui wasn't sure if his collar really needed adjusting, but...maybe Itachi was feeling as awkward about this as he was.

The thought gave him a renewed sense of courage. Before Itachi could pull away, Shisui reached out and curled his fingers against his side, giving a little awkward smile as his pulse began to heighten once again.

Itachi looked up at him and it was hard to breathe, but he knew what he wanted. He wanted...he wanted...He wanted a kiss.

Another kiss. Just one. To make it through the day of not shouting that he had kissed Uchiha Itachi from the rooftops of every single building in the village. One kiss to experience that feeling deep inside him again, where he felt like he was being blessed with something utterly irreplaceable.

There was a moment of silence before Itachi took a step right into Shisui's arms and pressed close. Shisui allowed his eyes to close as he took in the feel of Itachi against him. A part of him had been afraid the magic would have worn off, but he was still as breathless as he was last night.

Itachi tilted his head and Shisui met him halfway, their lips bumping awkwardly before pressing back together at a better angle. Shisui never wanted to move. He never wanted to leave this one spot ever. He just...wanted to stand there and...learn Itachi. Learn this side of him that was completely new.

Itachi left first and Shisui was standing in the doorway wondering whether or not his brain had melted out of his ears or if it was normal for ones body to feel like mush after being kissed.

* * *

The moment he stepped out of the house, business became his first priority. He knew Itachi would be attending to Danzo today. That thought made him nervous. He still didn't know what he expected from Danzo exactly, but cooperation definitely was not it.

And then...there was Fugaku. He was almost afraid to see the man. It would have been obvious to him where his son had run off to, that was for certain. On top of that, a part of Shisui was irrationally afraid that Fugaku would look at him and see everything—the kisses, the long but tentative touches, the warmth in his stomach, all of it.

On top of that, the Uchiha were still suspicious that Itachi was working with Danzo. This irritated Shisui the most. How dare they suspect Itachi of working with someone like that?

All Itachi had done his entire life was try to please them.

But a part of him knew. He'd seen it. They'd broken Itachi.

And he resented them for it. He wasn't a good enough person not to.

There was a meeting with the Uchiha today. Shisui would be attending. Itachi would not, due to his work. Shisui was glad for that. Itachi had been coming home smiling lately.

He didn't want to see that smile go away because the clan was...was...too self-absorbed to see what was right in front of them.

But first on his schedule was a meeting with the Hokage. Maybe if he got lucky he might get to have lunch with Itachi.

The meeting with the Hokage completely ruined that idea.

* * *

“You believe it was a member of root that did this...?” Shisui frowned and glanced around the Hokage's back room—this was where the official records were kept, the confidential ones, and any important files not known to the public that weren't medically related.

It was in shambles. Someone had torn the place apart last night, it seemed. A secretary was hard at work re-cataloging and trying to determine what was taken

“I have suspicions. So I've had her looking through the Uchiha files,” Hiruzen turned to Shisui with a grim look on his face. “...And I was correct. There are two files missing. I'm sure I don't have to tell you which files those are.”

Shisui's expression darkened, eyes flashing red.

His and Itachi's. There was no doubt a member of root did this.

“We must be prepared. They're obviously planning something. And it looks like neither of you have escaped their interest.” Shisui didn't say anything. He remembered the playful fight over wanting to see what was in his medical file, how Itachi had insisted it was confidential.

Just like this file.

He would kill to know everything written in it now, to know what the enemy was now privy to.

He needed figure out what to do about this. And fast.

Itachi was depending on him.

The village was depending on him.

The weight on his shoulders was growing with each passing second.

And he didn't like it.

 


	8. The weight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shisui feels the weight of the world stronger than he ever has, but Itachi is like a breath of fresh air to a starving man.

Shisui's heart was still in his throat by the time lunch came around and in the end, he couldn't bring himself to eat at all. It wasn't a good thing, to have one's appetite completely disappear after bad news, but he couldn't exactly help it. He had a feeling that if he forced it he would feel even worse.

So instead of eating, he trained. While he was throwing shiruken in many different directions, he thought about the upcoming Uchiha assembly and how furious that Fugaku would be that Itachi was not attending.

He knew that Fugaku had his reasons—mainly the fact that Itachi's absences had started being noticed by the other Uchiha. The less Itachi showed, the less faith the Uchiha had in Itachi. The less faith that they had in him, the more he became a scapegoat for their suspicions.

The tea he'd drank that morning felt like lead at the bottom of his stomach and he eventually stopped to breathe, realizing he'd been holding his breath for a good half a minute unconsciously. All he could do was try to convince the Uchiha that Itachi's growing distance wasn't a threat against them.

He already knew this assembly was going to make him feel sick.

* * *

 

The assembly went just about as bad as Shisui had been expecting. Fugaku had been upset that Itachi hadn't shown up again and had glared at Shisui until Shisui defended him by saying he was at work. Of course, that had only made it worse considering what work now consisted of.

Mikoto glanced at him over her Husband's shoulder with a look Shisui had trouble describing—worry, yes he could detect that, whether for him or for her son or both...well, he couldn't quite tell. But there was more in her eyes than that. He thought he detected a little bit of anger there as well, but he doubted it was directed at him or Itachi, especially considering how Mikoto had voiced her approval of Itachi's decision.

So that meant she was angry with her Husband. And Mikoto being truly and deeply angry with Fugaku was never a good thing. It had never ended well and Shisui almost...almost felt sorry for the other man. He didn't quite have it in him with the heat in his glare still upon him, but Shisui was doing his best to try. He had only felt Mikoto's anger directed at him one singular time in his life and he had made sure to never repeat it again.

She was a lovely woman and a sweet Mother, but many forgot she had used to be an ANBU, as cold and ruthless as the entire lot of them. Her sword still gleamed on their mantle, a reminder of those days.

Shisui never wished to see her take it down.

And then the discussion had risen about halfway through when someone had brought up Itachi's reoccurring absences and change of profession—never had an Uchiha heir given up their route in order to become a medical ninja. It was simply unheard of. Uchiha were meant for the front lines, with eyes that could memorize every move an enemy ninja made. What a waste of an Uchiha, someone said, what a waste of talent!

And Shisui had to sit there and listen to all of it with anger swirling in his gut and not say a single word for fear of being taken off of spying on Itachi. The clan didn't know the half of how far Itachi had gotten from them, even with their ridiculous suspicions. And this was all because Shisui was acting as a firm filter between Itachi and the clan.

Without that filter, Shisui didn't want to see what would happen to Itachi.

* * *

 

He returned home with his shoulders feeling heavy and body feeling much older than he really was. He forgot sometimes that he wasn't forty years old, that by civilian standards he wasn't even an adult. Not by shinobi standards—one became an adult the instant they graduated the academy, whether it was at age four or age twelve.

He collapsed onto his futon without bothering to eat dinner, aching too much to even try, and closed his eyes to give in to blissful sleep for a little while.

He didn't wake for several hours and when he did, it was to a wonderful smell wafting from the kitchen.

He stayed in the warmth of his blankets for several moments just...taking in the wonderful scent while his stomach reminded him he hadn't eaten all day. He licked his lips and stood, hungry for more than just the food as he made his way to the kitchen, not in the least bit surprised to find Itachi cooking up enough food to feed an army.

“You always make too much,” he complained playfully, but Itachi only snuck him a wry smile before going back to the stew on the stove. The pot was his largest and it was a third of the way full, more than enough for several servings.

“...Someone has to accommodate your insatiable appetite.”

“Hey now,” he complained, but couldn't keep the smile off his face as he moved to sit down at the table. It left his face quickly however, when he thought about his day. “Did you see the Hokage today?”

“Yes. He told me about the files.”

Shisui sighed softly, glad he didn't have to be the one to break that news to Itachi. He hated that Itachi now had to worry about something else on top of everything else.

Itachi's voice was quiet as he stirred the stew and then went to stick a loaf of bread in the oven to toast it. “...How did the assembly go...?”

Shisui was silent for several moments and Itachi didn't push him as he gathered his thoughts. It was a good minute before he could bring himself to speak. “...It was...horrible. Your Father was...”

“Upset...?”

“Furious.” Shisui nodded and rested his head on his crossed arms. “...Your Mom looked pissed at him. I got out of the way before she found a reason to be mad at me too.”

“Good idea.” Itachi couldn't recall a time his Mother had ever been truly upset with him. No, she had only ever been upset for him, like that day his crows attacked and hurt someone as a child.

“The rest of the meeting was...just as we expected. They're growing more and more bitter towards you by the day, Itachi.” Shisui warned. “...I'm...honestly afraid they might do something stupid at this point and I want to protect you, but I don't know how and--” He bit his lip, realizing he was saying too much and looked down, pulling his arms back from the table and sitting back with an exhausted slope to his shoulders.

It was a few moments of quiet pondering before Itachi was suddenly beside him, footsteps so quiet that Shisui hadn't heard them at all. Hands that could be just as gentle as they were violent reached up to grasp both of Shisui's cheeks and turn his head to face Itachi.

The younger boy was smiling so softly and it...it made Shisui's cheeks heat up a little under pale fingers, made his heart speed up. Unconsciously, he reached upward to grip the other's wrist and squeeze it, but he didn't try to remove the hands, loving how it felt to be held even if it was just his face.

“...Thank you...” Itachi leaned in and pressed his lips against Shisui's forehead and he swore his heart lept right from his chest and onto the floor to crawl away, unable to handle it anymore.

When Itachi pulled away, Shisui let his head fall until it was resting against Itachi's chest.

Not for the first time today, he felt so much older than he was. He felt his aching bones and the hurt inside and the pain of being in the middle, torn between two important parts of his life. He felt it like a raw, aching wound spreading on his skin.

“...Are you okay...?”

“...I will be now,” Shisui answered honestly and took a breath of Itachi, of the soft warm scent like fabric softener and cologne that he was used to. A confusing tingle went down his spine and pooled in his stomach that he didn't understand.

Itachi pulled away to go get the bread out of the oven.

Shisui felt the loss of his touch the instant he pulled away.

Was he okay? Not really. There was something so heavy on his chest he felt like he could barely breathe.

But he had Itachi. So...he might be okay for now.

 


	9. Build Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too much stress isn't good for one so young. Shisui learns the hard way. But Itachi is by his side.

Danzo was missing. _**Danzo was missing.**_

The mantra kept playing itself in Shisui's head like an old record player stuck on repeat. He's missing. _He's missing. He's--_

Gone. Plotting. Not being watched. Somewhere with others that broke him out, plotting his revenge, plotting something involving his and Itachi's files being stolen.

They had dug out every single hiding spot in Konoha, had operatives stationed everywhere. Even the civilians could feel the animosity and were mostly staying inside, even though an official order had not been given for them to do so.

And on top of that, Shisui was having a problem of his own. His right leg hurt like hell and threatened to give out on him every time he landed on it. He hadn't gotten a chance to look at it, but it had felt strangely tender this morning when he had been called for the emergency meeting.

He didn't have time— _didn't have time for this, for any of it--_

Everything hurt. He halted and nearly fell off the roof when his leg gave out on him, but he had other problems to worry about. His vision was swimming in and out of focus and he had the intense urge to cough--

He knew the moment that it stopped that his hand, which had clenched around his mouth, would be wet with blood. But that didn't mean the sight of it wasn't terrifying. His chest hurt and it wasn't getting better even as he sat still for several minutes.

Someone landed next to him. “Whoa hey, is that blood? Are you okay--?”

Shisui felt himself falling before he could even process that he was being spoken to. The sensation of his feet leaving the roof and his body heading toward the ground was the last thing he knew as he descended into the blackness.

* * *

 

 

The first thing he felt was an ache in his chest, a strange deep ache that didn't feel like a normal chest ache. His eyelids felt heavy and he slowly pushed them open, having to wait a moment with his eyes barely open for them to adjust before letting them blink open all the way.

He was in the hospital and hooked up to so many machines that he didn't bother trying to identify them.

He glanced down to find his chest bare. There were no markings on his chest to show that a procedure had been done, but he had a feeling that one had been, which would explain the ache.

His leg felt itchy, but he didn't get a chance to move it.

“Oh, you're awake!” Tsunade was leaning over him—when had she come in?--and there were visible signs of sweat on her brow. “Thank goodness.”

“What...happened...?” He coughed quietly, but there was no blood this time. Tsunade rushed around to the side of the bed and wiped the hair out of his face in a show of motherly gentleness.

“You had a blood clot in your lungs,” she explained. “You're lucky you were caught before you hit the ground otherwise your injuries would have made the situation worse. Why didn't you tell somebody you were having chest and leg pains?”

“Was too busy...” He was starting to wake up now and the seriousness of the situation made a chill settle in his gut. He was beginning to feel hungry too, but he couldn't really focus on that right now.

He suddenly remembered why he was busy and tried to sit up, only to fall right back down.

“You are never too busy for your health, young man.” Tsunade scolded gently and sat down on the chair next to the bed, brushing her hair over her shoulder with her fingers and letting out the breath she hadn't been aware she was holding. “Your friend...Itachi...He was telling me you seemed particularly fatigued lately.” Tsunade reached out and held Shisui's wrist, frowning down at it and he figured out after a moment that she was counting his heartbeats. At the mention of Itachi, his heart rate had sped up a little and Tsunade raised a brow.

Shisui felt his cheeks heat up and he glanced at the ceiling. Please don't ask.

She didn't. Thankfully.

“Itachi...how is Itachi..?”

“You're asking how he is, but you're the one in a hospital bed.” An amused glint flashed in Tsunade's eyes. “He's working in another room. This was too close and I didn't want him taking care of you when your life was in danger. Not yet. He needs more experience.”

Shisui bit his lip and shifted his eyes away. “...What caused it...?”

“A blood clot in your leg. And those...well..judging by how things were going, I would suspect stress was a major factor.” Shisui felt a cold shiver go down his spine. “I had to forcefully remove the clot with my chakra bubbles. Without them, you might have died. I want you to consider that very carefully. You're too young to be having these kinds of problems.”

“...All...All right...”

“Good. Now I'm going to let him see you.”

She stood and went to the door and slipped through. After a minute, Itachi was in the room, eyes a little more frazzled than normal. “Shisui--”

“Itachi.” Once again, he tried to sit up, but the pain had him bowling over when he did. Itachi was by his side instantly.

“Don't sit up just yet. I'm assuming that Master told you what your diagnosis was...?”

“Yes.”

“Then you know you need to rest. The procedure,” Itachi paused for a moment. “Was a success, but it very well could not have been. You...” Itachi went silent again and then slowly lowered himself down to the bed, sliding his arms around Shisui and resting his head against his shoulder, like Shisui had done the night before.

“You...what is the point of me learning how to help you all if you won't tell me when you need me...?” His voice sounds small, like a childs.

“...I...” He slowly raised his arm and wrapped it around Itachi's shoulder, wincing at the pain but feeling like it was worth it. “I'm sorry Itachi. I'll talk to you from now on, okay? It's just...the stress...I didn't even consider that this might happen...”

He knew now. But... “...Did you hear about--”

“Danzo...? Yes. On top of all this, I was also summoned to the Hokage's office so he could tell me that.” It was the worst timing in the world, if such a thing even existed.

Shisui understood the feeling, but that didn't make anyone feel any better.

But regardless of Danzo, it would have happened anyway. Shisui was under so much stress from the clan, from the spying on Itachi, from being a double agent, from everything...

“You need to rest.” Itachi spoke. “I don't care what the consequences are. We'll deal with them later. But you need to rest.”

“All right. All right.” He pat Itachi's back and slowly eased himself back down onto the bed. “I'll rest.”

“Good.” Itachi nodded firmly and cupped his cheek before pulling back and beginning to check his vitals.

“Tsunade said you weren't--”

“Allowed to take care of you. But she's not watching right now, is she?”

Shisui couldn't help but smile as he closed his eyes, raising an arm to cover them. “...Aye Aye, captain.”

* * *

 

“They still haven't figured out where he is, hn...?” Shisui was finally home, on his own futon, and feeling less like a discarded piece of toilet paper than he had in the past few days. Tsunade had kept him for observation and Itachi—now that the major part was out of the way—would be handling his at home recovery. And he was taking the job very seriously.

Which meant that Shisui was hardly allowed to stop resting for anything, unless he had to go to the bathroom.

“We'll talk about that when you're better.”

“I'm not going to fall over and die because you keep me updated on what's going on, Itachi.” Shisui protested, but Itachi frowned softly at him, considering before answering.

“They haven't found him, but we believe root to be the cause.”

“So we were right. Root bailed him out. I wonder what they're planning...”

“Especially with our files being stolen.”

“Yeah that.” Shisui rubbed the back of his head. “...I know he holds a grudge against me...that I can understand...but you...”

“I was his caretaker.”

“But he had no chance to get in contact with Root since he was detained. So whatever it was that drew him to you, it must've happened before this all went down.”

“So in other words, we're no closer to discovering the real reason than we were in the first place.”

“Exactly.”

There was a small narrowing of Itachi's eyes, one that Shisui knew quite well as his angry stare. But it wasn't directed at him (thankfully). Itachi was instead staring at his wall like it had personally offended him.

“I don't think my wall did anything to warrant that glare of yours, Itachi.”

Okay, now the glare was being directed at him. Woops.

“Just focus on getting better. Is there anything in particular you want for dinner tonight? I can make--”

“You.”

Itachi blinked and halted, staring at him like he'd grown another head. “Excuse me...?”

Shisui realized what he had just said and turned bright pink. “No wait, not that—just...stay close. I don't care what you want to make for dinner or anything like that...I just...don't...want to be separated from you right now, so...” He fiddled with the blanket, staring down at his hands. “Stay close to me...?”

It was silent for several long moments before a sigh could be heard and Itachi plopped down next to him on the futon, reaching for his shoulder.

“...All right. But you're eating in an hour regardless of what you want. And that's final.”

“Yes sir,” Shisui flashed a smile and promptly got his forehead flicked. “Hey!”

Itachi's small, joyful laugh made him feel like everything was going to be all right.

 


	10. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shisui's recovery is a slow one. Meanwhile, the festival is upon them.

Shisui's recovery was slow going. A majority of it was observation; they needed to make sure that the clots didn't show up again before releasing him to go back to his duties as a Shinobi. Meanwhile, Itachi was handling his duties remarkably well—he wouldn't go back to the hospital until Shisui's recovery was complete.

Shisui was finally at the point where he could move around somewhat freely. He was glad for that, having become bored out of his mind while laid up in bed. He'd never liked being injured or sick, even as a kid. Were he a normal child, that sort of thing would probably be something to be faked.

But not for a shinobi.

It didn't help that in the Shinobi world being out of commission for too long could mean the end of your career. Muscles just wouldn't work the same after months of rehabilitation. That sort of thing meant training your body all over again. Shinobi couldn't afford for that to happen.

“What do you think, Nurse?” Shisui teased as Itachi did his daily check of Shisui's vitals. He received a playful glare in turn, but only grinned in response, too used to Itachi's glare to feel the heat of it.

“You're doing much better. Before long,” His voice was slightly strained, making it clear that the day would absolutely not be today, “--You'll be cleared for missions.”

He had already been back to doing light training, but only enough for a halfway decent workout.

Shisui stood and stretched when Itachi pulled away. “I don't mind you looking after me, but I will be happy to get back to work. I hate sitting around like this.”

“Of course you will.” Itachi noted the results of the checkup on his clipboard and stood to put it away.

Shisui followed him with his eyes, a nervousness in his stomach that he couldn't deny. For days, he'd been pondering, but his courage had dwindled up until now. He shifted awkwardly on his feet, reaching up to rub the back of his head in a nervous gesture. “...Hey um...'Tachi...”

His companion tilted his head to look over his shoulder, curiosity shining in his dark eyes. “What is it?”

“You know...the festival is tonight.” The one that celebrated the defeat of the Kyuubi. It had been going on since they were children, like clockwork every single year. Shisui hardly had the time to go most of the time, but this year well...what else was he to do...?

His gaze shifted to the side and then he glanced up almost shyly at his companion, cheeks beginning to burn.

Itachi nodded. “I wonder if Tsunade-sama will bring Naruto with her to the festival.”

Shisui grimaced—this was not where he wanted the conversation to go. “That's probably not the best of ideas. Remember how the villagers treated him before Tsunade came along to be his guardian. I can see some of the villagers getting angry over him being there, as the Jinchuurinki.” He also didn't want to admit it, but he was still worried about Tsunade being Naruto's guardian. There would be alcohol at the festival and Shisui hadn't quite grown to trust her like Itachi had. He wanted to trust Itachi's judgment, but at times his cousin did things so far from rational that it nearly stopped his heart.

Itachi shook his head in response. “Tsunade-sama is here to protect him now. But we could offer to be their bodyguards for the evening, if you're worried about it.”

“Actually...I...uh...” Shisui bit his lip and swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat. The kissing was the easy part. Actually asking someone to go out with you? That was much more difficult, at least for Shisui. “I was hoping to ask if we could go together...you know...as like...a date.” He paused for a moment. “I know we can't let on that we're together--” Damn the clan once again for this fact. “--But we know in our hearts and...I think that's enough?”

Was that too awkward? Probably. Shisui wasn't good at these sorts of things, but he'd be damned if he didn't do his best to try.

Itachi's mouth fell open slightly with surprise. “Oh. I see.” He hummed and filed away his clipboard. “I don't mind. If Tsunade-sama takes Naruto though, we probably should look after them.”

Shisu sighed a little. “All right. I give. We can do that.”

Itachi watched him out of the corner of his eye for several moments before slowly walking toward him. When he got close enough, he reached up and gently cupped Shisui's cheek.

“I'm sorry. I know you want it to be just the two of us...but I'm worried about Naruto.”

“I thought you said Tsunade-sama could protect him.”

“Can't you tell?” Itachi looks somewhat sheepish with an awkward chuckle. “I was trying to convince myself just as much as you.”

“Oh.” Caught by surprise, he can only stand there for a long moment. “I see.”

“After the festival...” Itachi let his fingers trail down the other's neck. “We can spend some time together alone, okay?”

Shisui was doing his best to ignore his body's reaction to the touch. “Hah. When you put it like that...how on Earth could I possibly refuse you...?” Itachi was nothing if not convincing.. And that damned burning feeling was in his stomach again, the tingles running down his spine that made him want to break into pieces under those fingers he loved so much.

“Good.” Was that a light blush? “I know I've been overbearing lately. I'm surprised you're not tired of me.”

“Tired of—I could never grow tired of you, 'Tachi.” A pat on his shoulder. And he wasn't just saying that either. He didn't think he could grow tired of Itachi's presence even if he tried. Itachi was like fresh air to a breath-starved man. The shape of him, the way he carried himself, the way his eyes showed what he was really feeling, those awkward little moments where Itachi didn't know what to do with himself, those beautiful human moments...all of it made Itachi so very enticing. It drove Shisui up the wall.

He had a dream that morning, one that had left him yearning for Itachi's touch, no matter how small. It was just flashes in between something else, something lost and forgotten, but he remembered the feeling when he woke up pressed against the other's body tucked in his arms. His veins had burned and his body had been humming with leftover ecstasy that made his cheeks burn and his back arch for more touch.

The close proximity to Itachi was going to drive him mad before too long, of that he was sure. And he would descend into madness with a grin on his face and with no regrets at all because it was exactly what he wanted, where he needed to be.

But it looked like he would have to wait before his desire for more of Itachi was sated. Shisui let out another sigh and slowly, surely, leaned in for a kiss. Itachi met him halfway and their lips brushed tentatively.

Shisui suddenly felt like he could breathe again. He didn't think he'd ever get enough of that, no matter how long he had it.

Itachi pulled away with a somewhat shy smile and went to go about making lunch. Shisui found himself watching him with his chin resting against his palm, a wistful smile on his face.

They were going to the festival together...

His stomach erupted in butterflies.

* * *

 

The night came upon them far too fast to count. Despite the happy occasion, Shisui still had a lot to worry about (his health, Root, Danzo, etc) so he still felt a tad bit uptight. But Itachi's hand on his arm before they left dressed in traditional clothes made him feel the tiniest bit better. At the very least, it would be enough to get him through the night.

The festival was crowded, which was to the expected. Itachi went right for a dango stand, much to Shisui's exasperation, but he allowed himself to be bought a stick of dango and took it with a grateful hand as Itachi focused all of his attention on his favorite food.

He almost felt jealous of the dango. Almost.

Okay...he did. A little. Just a little bit!

And sure enough, it wasn't long before they ran into Tsunade teaching Naruto how to catch a goldfish.

“Tsunade-sama.” Itachi greeted with a small smile on his face, a fond look landing on the small boy who was excitedly trying to catch a fish and pouting when he failed.

“You're both here, huh? Sure you're well enough to be here?” Tsunade asked Shisui, an amused glint in her eyes. He huffed and puffed out his chest proudly.

“It wouldn't keep me down for long. Itachi says I'm doing much better.”  
“That's good to hear. But be careful.”

“Don't worry, I will.” He recalled her lecture when he woke up in the hospital and winced. “Ah...by the way, Itachi was so worried he decided we're going to be your bodyguards, so get used to us being around.”

Itachi turned and leveled Shisui with a helpless glare. Shisui ignored it and flashed a grin in his direction. Tsunade shook her head with exasperation.

“I understand your worries, but...” She glanced down at the boy, her eyes softening as Naruto finally caught the tiniest goldfish in the little pool, shouting with an enthusiastic “yatta!”

“But...?”

“No one has dared mess with him for weeks. I don't think they'll start up again, even if it is the festival.”

“Still, Tsunade-sama, to be sure...”

“What Itachi's trying to say,” Another glare. “Is that we would feel much better making sure of that ourselves, rather than worrying about it.”

“Oh all right. You're both worryworts.” Shisui rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and Itachi gave an awkward smile. He was giving those a lot lately, like he was slowly remembering how to smile and mean it.

Shisui loved those smiles.

He loved Itachi.

He was going to enjoy tonight, guard duty or not.

 


	11. The Light on Your Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the festival.

As it turned out, Tsunade wasn't necessarily right but she wasn't wrong either. No one dared mess with Naruto directly, not in a way that the kid would notice at least. But it didn't take a ninja to notice all the stares and the whispers and eventually Shisui had to glare at one of the people in charge of a booth when they tried to upcharge their drinks.

“O-Oh sorry, I must have read the price wrong. Please forgive me.”

Read the price wrong my ass, Shisui thought as he sipped at an iced tea, glancing at the kid out of the corner of his eye. Naruto, for the most part it seemed, was oblivious to it all or simply didn't care. He was clinging to Tsunade's arm and dressed up for the occasion in traditional clothes that had probably been ordered specifically for the festival. With the life he'd lived before, Shisui couldn't really see him owning that kind of clothing.

Still, even with the tense feeling in the air from the villagers as they noticed Naruto, it was nice to see the kid having fun. Itachi was right about one thing—he was just a boy, he didn't deserve any of the things the villagers were doing to him out of fear of what was inside his seal.

Of course, there were repercussions for what they were doing as well as the stares from the villagers...some of the people in the crowd were Uchiha, who did their best to lay low and keep their glares to a minimum, but they were there nonetheless. After all, the Uchiha had a different reason to hate Naruto than the rest, but a reason they considered valuable nonetheless.

It had been the Kyuubi attack that had led many people to believe the Uchiha to be traitors. And a great many Uchiha were still very bitter about that, especially with how Konoha had begun treating its Uchiha like they were all criminals, not to be trusted, the lowest kind of ninja. It made Shisui's stomach burn with annoyance, but it also made his heart ache because he knew that it wasn't what Sarutobi wanted, not at all.

And yet, his hands were tied. If he went against all of his advisers, he risked his place being given to someone who thought along the lines of Danzo. And that was simply unacceptable. Sarutobi Hiruzen was a man that was caught in the crossfire of two sides of his village and unable to take the side of either, hence he lose the other half's loyalty and respect.

There were risks that came with that sort of job. Shisui was glad he would likely never be offered anything like it. He didn't want it, didn't want to have to make those sorts of decisions. It was bad enough that he was a double spy, bad enough he had to lie to the people he had grown up with and trained with.

He was going to be questioned after this, of this he was certain. What were Itachi's intentions with the Kyuubi boy? Why wasn't he stopping him from making a fool out of himself and the Uchiha clan? What if--

Shisui was internally coming up with a comeback for those arguments and was suspiciously quiet, at least to Itachi who kept sneaking glances his way. He knew that Shisui had taken on a lot of stress—so much was because of him and the guilt festered heavily in his gut—but this was supposed to be a night of fun, a night where he forgot some of that stress, even just a little bit.

So why was he losing himself in thoughts that were less than pleasant?

Itachi waited until Naruto had begun a game with Tsunade cheering him on to turn to Shisui and gently rest his fingers on his elbow. Shisui blinked out of his thoughts at the unexpected touch and turned to acknowledge Itachi for the first time in the better part of an hour.

“What are you thinking about that makes you look so serious?”

“Everything.” Itachi knew better than to expect a full answer—after all, there were Uchiha around and eavesdropping was something that could happen—but he still felt disappointed in the answer nonetheless. Everything could mean Danzo, could mean the Uchiha, could mean all of it as once.

Shisui was stressing himself over things again. And the last time he did that, Itachi nearly lost him.

His hold on Shisui's arm tightened just the slightest bit unconsciously and Shisui winced, waiting a moment before hesitantly pulling his arm back. “I'll be fine. There are no signs of the clots, right? Besides, I think I've learned my lesson.”

“You clearly haven't.”

Shisui sighed. “Look Tachi, there's a lot to think about. I can't really help it.”

“I guess I'll just have to give you something else to think about, then.”

Shisui stared at Itachi in what was possibly a gape before turning around to hide his red face for a moment. “Itachi, you really need to start thinking about the things you say before you say them.”

“What do you....” Realization dawned on him and a light tinge of a flush crossed his cheeks. “That isn't what I meant and you know it.” Ah the familiar heat of that Uchiha glare on his back, that he could deal with. That was familiar, something he knew how to handle. Not this...uncharted territory of a relationship they shouldn't even be discussing in public.

If anyone asked, Shisui could pass it off as a joke, or he wouldn't have said it in the first place.

“Why are you glaring at your friend? Did he do something stupid?” Naruto was suddenly there holding a plush fox in hand and staring up at them with interested eyes. Tsunade, mouth turned upwards in amusement, was standing behind him and offering no help whatsoever as she stared at the two of them.

Itachi slowly let his glare wither away, closing his eyes for a moment before offering up a somewhat shy smile at Naruto. Despite having a younger Brother, Itachi had never really stopped being an awkward turtle around children. They admired him, swarmed all over him, but he could do little more than try to be a good example and inwardly flail when they started asking him questions.

It was adorable. Shisui loved it.

“It's nothing, don't worry about it.” Itachi reached out and ruffled Naruto's hair gently, something that Sasuke loved. And Naruto beamed up at him like he had just been given a gift so precious he could barely wait to show it off to everyone else.

Shisui couldn't help but agree with that assessment.

They spent the next few hours wandering around booths and eating way too much. Itachi, of course, went back to the dango stand at least three times. Where he put it all, Shisui would never understand. The boy had very little extra fat on him, even for a ninja. Sure, there was the lingering bits of chubbiness around his stomach that he would lose as he grew older, but that was just part of growing up and nothing about his eating habits.

Shisui would be a little sad to see it go. It was cute and a reminder of an innocence that Itachi had rarely ever gotten the chance to express.

When the time for the fireworks finally came, they decided to watch from the Hokage monument where they would have the best view. The treck up there would have been nightmarish if they went at Naruto's pace, but Shisui had given in and picked the boy up to carry him up the curve of the monument to the top.

In the end, they sat right around Minato's head. Shisui couldn't help but wonder if Naruto would ever find out who the man was and what that would mean for him.

He was getting lost in his thoughts again. He let his gaze travel to the one sitting next to him, Itachi. A little secretive smile was on his lips as he stared up at the fireworks. He had no doubt that Itachi knew he was watching and yet, he said nothing, did nothing, just let Shisui admire him in a quiet reverence as the sight of the lights dancing off Itachi's eyes shook him to the very core.

He couldn't help but feel like he needed this, needed the peace inside him that he felt right now, even if only for a little bit. It was a rare feeling, something that only Itachi seemed to bring out of him in moments like these, or when he found Itachi training with Sasuke, or when he got to take long walks with Itachi and just...talk about the little things—what he wanted for dinner, what Sasuke had been up to at school, memories from the long past...

Sometimes, Shisui felt much older than he was, looking back on his life like he'd ever really lived it when in reality it was almost nothing.

And when Itachi reached out and gently thread their fingers together, Shisui allowed him to, taking comfort in the feeling of Itachi's touch in the dark and allowing himself to relax even if he knew it would be short lived.

He had to wake up tomorrow, after all.

 


	12. We'll Have Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi and Shisui come together for the first time.

The walk home from the festival was mostly silent—but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was a thoughtful silence by both, though the reasons were entirely different. While Shisui was thinking about the stress that would be piled back on him tomorrow, Itachi was thinking about something else entirely.

He peeked at Shisui out of the corner of his eye, taking in his thoughtful stance as he walked, the worrying of his lip and the somewhat narrowed eyes. What could he do to make Shisui's stress level less...?

Itachi remembered Shisui lying on that hospital bed, pale and breathing harshly, and he knew he had to do something. Anything was better than nothing.

A small flush began to deepen his cheeks as ideas floated around in his head. As if finally noticing his stare, Shisui turned and grinned at him—the force of his smile sent a warmth trickling down Itachi's spine and he shyly turned his gaze away, unable to meet it from the force of the feelings bubbling up inside him.

It was startling at times, how Shisui made him feel. Itachi wasn't the type to feel strong emotion. Before Sasuke was born, he hadn't had a reason to exist. Everything had felt meaningless.

But Sasuke wasn't the only one to break through that, wasn't the only exception. And it scared him sometimes. Those that had more of you had more of a chance to hurt you. Sasuke was too young to really harness his power over Itachi, but Shisui was not. And their relationship was fragile as it was, due to all the external factors going into it. And yet, he felt like more and more of himself was being given to Shisui.

His fingers trembled a little and he found himself hiding them behind his back, hoping that Shisui did not notice. He was nervous, exceptionally so. Because tonight he planned on giving another part of himself to Shisui for some stress relief for the both of them.

* * *

 

Itachi stood still in the center of the front room, trying to gather up the courage that he needed to do what was on his mind. Shisui—perhaps noticing his almost unnatural nervousness—was chattering away about the festival, specifically the fireworks. Itachi couldn't help but calm a little listening to Shisui's soft, but strong voice and it made him smile.

_I've already given almost every piece of me to you._

When Shisui headed for the bathroom, Itachi waited a moment before following. Shisui smiled at him as he entered, not questioning it as he stripped and sat under the water to scrub himself. Itachi swallowed thickly, his heart fluttering nervously in his chest, and slowly—carefully, with Shisui turned the other way—allowed his clothes to fall to the floor. He knew that Shisui heard because he paused mid-scrub, not looking back but tilting his head slightly to hear better.

Itachi knelt down and gently wrapped his arms around Shisui from behind, allowing him to feel the press of bodies together, something that sent electricity shooting down his spine and a tingly, warm feeling pooling in Itachi's stomach.

It was the feeling he got when Shisui kissed him...except stronger. And he thought he understood why now. This was what it was like to be physically attracted to someone else. As much as it startled him deep down inside, he was glad that the person he was attracted to was Shisui. It meant...he could offer this part of himself.

Shisui held so much of him and he never once misused it.

He was safe with Shisui...this part of him was also safe to give.

“I...Itachi...” Shisui's breath hitched and he stiffened, but Itachi didn't let go, slowly settling behind Shisui on his knees to keep his head level with Shisui's mid back. It wasn't as intimate as it was a moment ago, but the press of skin was still there, and with his ear pressed to Shisui's wet back, he could feel the thrumming of an excited heartbeat.

After a moment, he pulled away, allowing Shisui to turn around. Shisui swallowed thickly as he stared into Itachi's eyes, never once traveling his gaze lower. Itachi couldn't help but smile—here he was, presenting himself to Shisui, and he was still trying to be respectful of his space.

Itachi didn't want space to be between them anymore. With every moment, they could be coming closer to their inevitable downfall. They didn't have the time to take things slow.

With Danzo plotting, one of them could easily be gone tomorrow or they wouldn't have enough time for each other. They might not get another chance to just be...two teenagers in love.

In love...he was in love with Shisui...surprisingly the thought didn't frighten him as much as it should have.

He slowly let his eyes close as he smiled up at Shisui. “...Shisui...tonight let's...” He swallowed thickly and opened his eyes again, giving a nervous chuckle. “Lets take advantage of tonight.”

Shisui was gaping, but Itachi leaned up and tentatively brushed his lips across his bottom lip—just a chaste kiss, but it was enough to make Shisui tremble. The shower head continued spraying water, but neither were paying attention to it, eyes focused on each other.

“Itachi...” Shisui reached out and gently traced one of the stress lines on the younger boy's face, watching with bated breath at Itachi slowly closed his eyes and leaned into it, long eyelashes brushing his palm.

Shisui's heart was racing. He couldn't seem to make it stop.

“Are you...um...are you sure about this....? I mean...we can...I can wait for you, I don't need you to--”

Itachi shook his head and smiled sadly up at Shisui. “Shisui, Danzo is a formidable foe. You and I both know we might not have another chance. And I...” His breath shook a little as he drew it in and let it out. “I...I want to be a normal teenage boy with you. I want to pretend we're civilians tonight, okay? You...have every other part of me already.” He swallowed thickly, standing and reaching out to bury his hands in Shisui's hair, tilting his head up to stare into Itachi's eyes. “I can't think of a better person to give this to. I trust you.”

Shisui felt like water was in his ears—he could hear Itachi's voice, but it was if there was a roaring sound in the background, blocking out everything else. He couldn't feel anything but Itachi, look at anything but Itachi, and that scared him and excited him at the same time.

And Itachi was right. They might not have the time to wait.

Itachi reached out and slowly turned the shower head off, never leaving Shisui's gaze, and then raised a leg up and over to plop himself right in Shisui's lap.

Shisui lost it right then and there. His breath was shaky as he trailed his lips up Itachi's bare neck, tongue darting out to follow a droplet of water that had landed on him as it made its way down. Itachi's breath hitched and he slowly wrapped his arms around Shisui's shoulders.

He took that as encouragement and nuzzled against Itachi's throat, listening intently to him swallow, before latching his mouth onto the skin and sucking.

Itachi clutched at him a little more desperately, but Shisui focused on what he was doing. Itachi would have to cover it up later, but his anbu uniform hardly allowed for anyone to peek at his neck anyhow.

The mark was light, it wouldn't be easy to spot, but it was there. Satisfied, Shisui pulled back and glanced at Itachi's face, mesmerized temporarily by the flushed cheeks and dazed eyes of his...boyfriend? Lover...?

His best friend.

He leaned in and brushed their lips once, twice, and then the third failed to leave altogether. Itachi sighed against his lips and the feeling brought a tremble to Shisui's hands that he was embarrassed about, but Itachi thankfully failed to mention.

He tilted his head, swiping his tongue across the other's lips and deepened their kiss, one hand reaching up to bury in Itachi's long hair and pull the hair tie away. The ebony locks spilled down Itachi's back in a way that made Shisui feel breathless—he'd always wanted to do that, always fantasized about running his fingers through it and kissing Itachi breathless—

He ran his fingers through Itachi's hair, trailing kisses down Itachi's throat and toward his chest. He could feel Itachi's heart thrumming against his skin and it made him smile proudly that he was the one to get Itachi worked up like this.

“Itachi--”

Itachi blinked and smiled at him, giving a shy look his way. “You're staring at me.”

“I'm sorry,” he apologized earnestly. “I'm just...I can't believe you're...mine...” A small laugh was received in response and Shisui couldn't help but smile, placing another exaggerated kiss to his lips. “I want to kiss you all over.”

“...I'm not stopping you.”

Shisui's expression softened and he gently pushed Itachi to lay back. He shivered at the coolness of the floor, but wasn't cold for very long as Shisui grabbed ahold of his leg and trailed his lips up and down in an almost worshiping manner.

“Shi--”

“You're so damn lovely, Itachi. It's a wonder anyone can resist you.”

Embarrassed, Itachi's cheeks flushed pink, and Shisui couldn't help but laugh as he pressed a lingering kiss to an ankle. “This is why...I stopped bathing with you.” He looked up to meet Itachi's eyes. “...because if I didn't, I was scared I would overstep my boundaries and...you deserve nothing but respect.”

The atmosphere warmed between them significantly and without waiting for an answer, Shisui ducked his head and pressed a kiss to Itachi's inner thigh. He was pleased when those legs only hesitated a moment out of shyness before spreading open for him. He knew Itachi was completely out of his element, giving a part of himself to Shisui that was sacred. Shisui was going to treasure every single moment of it.

It may very well be their last chance.

He glanced up just enough to see that Itachi was hard and it made him smile as he reached out and took him in hand, recalling what felt good with himself when he actually had the chance and trying to apply it here. Itachi's eyes closed and he released a breath that sounded like desperation and relief all bundled into one.

It made him so happy that Itachi wanted this just as much as he did.

Shisui watched Itachi's face as he gently pumped his cock, taking in his expression with every little movement of his hand and memorizing what made Itachi feel good. Itachi's arms squeezed around him and he pulled Shisui in for a gentle brush of lips and a pant of shared breaths.

“Shisui....” Itachi paused for a moment and the next breath comes out shaky. “...I think I'm in love with you.”

Shisui's heart mended and broke all at once. “...I've been in love with you for years,” he responded with and in the next instant he had pulled Itachi into his lap. He rolled his hips into Itachi's slowly, trembling with desire when Itachi mimicked the movement, looking him in the eye before closing his and tilting his head before kissing Shisui deeply.

“...Itachi....Itachi...” He whispered between kisses, running his fingers down Itachi's bare back and caressing his hips. “No matter what happens, don't forget tonight.”

“I won't.”

Their breaths grew rapid and they rocked together to completion for the first time.

 


	13. What I Want to Protect: Shisui's Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shisui makes a decision that will impact his life forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter because I wanted to set things up just right. Hopefully you all don't mind a short chapter since I updated so soon~

The next morning, Itachi woke up feeling worse than he'd felt in a long time. Shisui cursed softly under his breath as he pulled the thermometer back from Itachi's mouth. “You're really sick, I knew I shouldn't have let you go to bed naked last night. Clothes from now on.”

Itachi sighed, but smiled a little as Shisui fretted—he could be a bit motherly at times, Itachi couldn't help but think. His Mother—Makoto--had fretted over him whenever his illness acted up as a child too.

He supposed he had been due for a flare up, it had been a while after all. But he always hid the worst of it from Shisui, or at least he thought he had. Shisui had never brought up whether he'd seen the blood coughed up in the garbage can or not and Itachi was grateful for it. He hated being reminded of his body's weakness, of the fact that his skill could not always overcome it.

“I'll go get Tsunade--”

Itachi nodded and dissolved into a fit of coughs as he struggled to sit up. Shisui gripped him gently and rubbed his back, brows furrowed with concern. A million things were running through Shisui's head, scenarios worse and worse as they went on. However, despite this, he knew it wouldn't kill Itachi—at least, not for a long time.

Itachi's illness was heredity, one suffered by a great many powerful Uchiha. Makoto had it too, though she had recovered mostly from it by retiring completely. It was essentially a degenerative lung disease, though one not easily cured. It tended to flare up after an overuse of sharingan, but other factors had a hand in it as well...such as sleeping naked after a night of passionate sex.

Shisui sighed and stood. “All right, this time for real—I'm going to get Tsunade. Wait here and please lie down.”

Itachi nodded and sank back down into the sheets with a sigh and a small cough—thankfully, no blood came up with it.

He watched as Shisui flashed away and was about to settle down again, when he suddenly felt a presence nearby—far too close for comfort. And it didn't feel familiar.

He stiffened and slowly sat up the best he could, clutching at his chest and breathing heavily around the pain assaulting him.

The next instant he was surrounded by root operatives. He wheezed as he tried to catch his breath, eyes narrowing and sharingan activating. He blocked a hit aiming for the weak spot at the back of his neck and frowned as his chakra began to slowly seep away—he couldn't hold onto it.

Curse this disease--

One came at him from the front, but he was looking over his shoulder toward the one aiming for the back of his neck again. He tried to twist around, but his body was weak and felt like he was carrying led in bags strapped to his feet. When he twisted, he lost his balance and the side of the other ninja's hand slammed down against the weak point, causing his consciousness to cease and Itachi's body to slump to the ground.

Danzo had been watching them, for how long, he didn't know. But he'd been waiting for this opportunity...for when Itachi was too weak to escape.

The root members threw Itachi over the shoulder of one operative and flashed from the building, leaving no traces of themselves behind except the obvious signs of shuffling feet in Itachi's sheets.

* * *

 

“It's not your fault.”

Not his fault? It was completely his fault. Shisui stared down at the ground and clenched his jaw tight to hold back the emotion threatening to overwhelm him. No, this was all his doing. He had left Itachi alone, knowing the danger. He should have gotten somebody to watch over him while he was gone. Instead, Itachi had been too sick to fight back and Danzo had taken advantage of the opportunity to get past Itachi's iron defenses while his body was weak and racked with pain.

And Shisui...Shisui hadn't protected him, hadn't even considered the danger, had been too busy worrying about Itachi's health to think of the potential threat despite all of the warning signs...the missing files, Danzo's sudden disappearance, Danzo's hatred for the Uchiha...

Hiruzen reached out and clapped Shisui on the shoulder gently as he passed, puffing on his pipe. Besides Shisui, several ANBU were gathered in the room. So far, no one besides the Hokage, Shisui, and this set of ANBU knew about Itachi's kidnapping. Hiruzen was glad for Shisui's insight not to tell anyone, for he could easily foresee several Uchiha leaving without orders to in order to save their star. And this would not help quell the Uchiha's rebellion. If anything, it would fuel negative feelings against Konoha.

Hiruzen was worried about Itachi, but he—as the Hokage—had a duty to think of the bigger picture first. The older man stopped in front of the five ANBU and turned to face them, his hands behind his back. “Your mission today is to track the root operatives that stole Itachi Uchiha from Shisui's home this morning. You are not to engage them unless attacked first. Haste is important, we don't know what plans Danzo has for Itachi, but they can't be good.”

“Yes sir.”

“Please...” Shisui begged quietly, “I'm begging you. Please allow me to join the hunting party.”

“Request denied.” Hiruzen shook his head, taking his pipe from his mouth to stare evenly at Shisui. “You are not fully recovered yet and have not been cleared for missions. Besides that, we know that Danzo has every reason to want you to come along. This could very well be a trap to get his hands on those eyes of yours. With them, he could do unspeakable damage, not only to the Uchiha, but to Konoha. As the Hokage, I absolutely cannot allow that to happen. You understand?”

Shisui felt his heart clench with pain and he lowered his head more, feeling tears sting the back of his eyes.

Once the ANBU were dispatched, Hiruzen turned and quietly dismissed Shisui. “Go back home and rest. I'll send some ANBU with you to help in case anything happens.”

Pale and withdrawn, Shisui returned to his home.

* * *

 

Three days passed. There was no word from the hunting party that had been sent after Danzo and the root members that kidnapped Itachi. Shisui was becoming antsy and anxious. After all, who knew what Danzo's plans for Itachi were? For all they knew, Itachi—weak with illness—could be being tortured to death.

Shisui worried his bottom lip and sipped on some tea as he waited for the Hokage. He went over the conversation he'd had with Hiruzen in his head over and over again.

And that was when it struck him...why Itachi had been kidnapped...it had been none other than Shisui. Hiruzen had said it himself as a possibility.

_'This could very well be a trap to get his hands on those eyes of yours. With them, he could do unspeakable damage, not only to the Uchiha, but to Konoha. As the Hokage, I absolutely cannot allow that to happen. You understand?'_

Shisui clenched his jaw tight and glared up at the ceiling, his sharingan swirling in his eyes. And then he was gone from the office without a word.

* * *

 

“Hokage-sama, we have a problem!”

“What is it?” Hiruzen frowned as his ANBU burst back into his office. When Shisui didn't show for their meeting, Hiruzen had sent the ANBU to investigate whether or not something had happened.

“We talked to the ANBU that were supposed to be watching him—it appears they lost track of him sometime when he showed up for the meeting and decided to wait for him. They thought he was in here with you this whole time!”

Hiruzen's blood went cold as he stood up from his desk. “You don't mean--”

“We fear that he masked his chakra and used it to sneak out of the village.”

Hiruzen glared down at the desk, his forehead coated with sweat as he slammed his pipe down beneath his palm. “After him, he must have left a trail behind!” The ANBU looked doubtful—after all, Shisui was one of the best trackers in Konoha—but at Hiruzen's shouting, they lept from the window and headed out.

Hiruzen turned and walked to his balcony, a grimace on his face as he stared up at the sky. “Shisui, what are you thinking? Does the village mean nothing to you anymore?”

Silence followed, seeming to answer the Hokage's question.

Shisui didn't dare stop to rest—he ran right on through the day, ignoring the fatigue in his legs from being laid up and focusing entirely on tracking where the ANBU went. It was difficult to find a trail, but he wasn't one of the best trackers in Konoha for nothing. He found one and followed it, his heart racing and eyes narrowing as he sped through the trees.

“Hang on, Itachi. I'm coming.”

 


	14. The pursuit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shisui's pursuit continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, sorry about that. I got a bit stuck when I thought about making it longer. it just didn't feel right, ya know?

Shisui ran for three straight days following the trail, barely stopping to rest at all. He wasn't stupid, he was sure he was going to be pursued, but he did his absolute best not to leave even the scarcest trail behind. The ANBU were going to have their work cut out for them figuring out where he went.

Fatigued, he finally landed in a tree outside of a rugged looking building made from dirt, mud and stone. He pursed his lips in a frown—this place really was in the middle of nowhere. And—sharingan activated—he could feel Itachi's chakra nearby as well as Danzo's.

But there was an unfamiliar chakra, one that set his blood running cold. He would have to be absolutely careful about this. After all, he didn't know who that strong chakra belonged to. The signs pointed to Danzo having a powerful accomplice and Shisui racked his brain through what he knew of the bingo book to try and figure it out. And if his suspicions were correct...then Itachi was in even more danger than he had originally thought. He flashed away from the tree, leaving behind no sign that he had been there in the first place.

* * *

 

Danzo was pleased at how his plan was working out in his favor. He was currently heading down to where Itachi Uchiha was being held, his slow footsteps echoing off the walls. As he traveled, he began to hear sounds from the cell below. He paused at the base of the steps to listen for a moment, determining no sign of a struggle, and then entered the room.

Itachi was unconscious and strapped to a table. As Danzo approached, he noticed the beady eyes of many snakes in the corners of the room, obviously stationed as Itachi's guard in case the serum wore off and he managed to regain consciousness. Though it was highly unlikely, especially given Itachi's physical condition at the moment of capture, they couldn't write out the possibility. After all, Itachi was one of Konoha's most powerful Ninja and an Uchiha. He couldn't be underestimated and neither could those ANBU that had tried breaking their way in. Which was why Danzo had personally killed them all with his own hands.

The less people to disrupt his plans, the better.

“You're taking too long.” Danzo spoke, his harsh voice cutting through the sound of tools in the room. And his partner in crime, raised his head from Itachi's side to reveal slit pupils and amber eyes staring at him with amusement.

“--and you're too impatient. I need to study this illness of his if I am going to take his body. Ideally, I would only need it for a few years until Sasuke is grown, but--” Orochimaru ran his tongue over the scapula he was using to puncture Itachi's skin and draw blood, tasting the iron in his mouth with a pleased hum. “--Even still, I must be prepared for the consequences. I refuse to leap without looking down, Danzo.”

Danzo's frown deepened. “If Itachi is still alive when he arrives, we risk an escape attempt and then your body--” He spat the words out as if they disgusted him. “--will walk away.”

Orochimaru's smile never left his lips however. He hummed quietly and gathered blood in a vial, uncaring about the clotting wound he left behind or the blood dripping onto the floor as he turned and held the vial up to the little light he had.

“Patience, patience. Everything must be executed perfectly. If he escapes, then I will simply take another opportunity. Either way, you will get what you are after.”

Danzo turned to stare at the unconscious body of Itachi Uchiha, a little smile crossing his lips as he considered Orochimaru's words. “Very well then. I trust your “experiments” can handle any interference from now on. I am tired of dirtying my hands on pathetic ANBU.”

“I'm pleased you're giving them the chance to show you what they're made of.” Orochimaru dabbed a bit of Itachi's blood on a tiny, glass square and then looked through the microscope at it. “Now, I need to concentrate on my work. You understand?”

Danzo turned, having no interest in this “disease” that Uchiha were prone to contracting, and headed back up the stairs without a word. He could sense something in the air and—without even sensing his chakra—knew that Shisui was drawing near.

Good. Soon Shisui Uchiha's eyes would belong to Danzo.

If everything went according to plan, that is.

* * *

 

Shisui was beginning to see why a Byakugan user would have been very useful to have with him. While the Sharingan was good for many things, it could not see through walls. It took Shisui approximately three hours to narrow down all the entrances to the facility, but he hid himself in the forest again without attempting to enter. The reason being...he could sense distorted chakra near them and his heart began to sink.

So he was right. Danzo had partnered with Orochimaru, the man responsible for human experimentation, the kinds of which having shook Konoha to its very core. Orochimaru was cruel and precise, but his experiments had eventually been discovered and he had been chased from Konoha. It had been a while since they had heard anything about him, but there was no doubts that he was continuing his experimentation elsewhere while he worked on his immortality.

The fact that Orochimaru was involved wasn't good. While Shisui wasn't entirely sure what Orochimaru would want with Itachi, he could only imagine. And each scenario was worse than the last.

Before Shisui could make his move however, there was an unfamiliar chakra heading toward him. He'd been spotted. He cursed and readied himself for a fight, blocking a water jutsu with a jutsu of his own as sweat gathered above his brow.

He could kill these experiments with ease.

He didn't want to. That made this all the more difficult.

 


	15. The Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shisui rescues Itachi and brings him home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some writers block with this chapter, so sorry if its choppy. I did my best to get it out the way I wanted it to. The ending is coming up soon, in the next few chapters, so I'll try to make my writing flow better for those at least.
> 
> Enjoy.

Shisui spent several minutes fighting head to head with the experiments—they looked like people, but they seemed to be half animal, some sort of bug like abomination. The reason it took so long was because Shisui refused to kill them—after all, it wasn't their fault they had been created by Orochimaru. They were being used. They were innocent in all this.

Popping another energy pill after the fight, he waited for the next experiment to take notice of him, flaring his chakra on purpose. He needed to lure them out and take them down before he could gain access to the facility. It took him the better part of a day to do so, but eventually, he had the experiments in an unconscious pile and then finally made his way toward the entrance to the facility.

He had to find Itachi and fast. Who knows what sort of experiments Orochimaru might be doing on him? The fact that Orochimaru was even here made Shisui's heart race with fear—he had always been told to be wary in case the legendary sannin decided to show up again. He couldn't help but think about how badly Konoha had been scarred by what Orochimaru had done.

He had many other things to think about. He had left without orders, meaning he was going to be punished severely when he got back. What he did was going to make the Uchiha look bad as well. He had let his feelings get the best of him and he may have undone all of the progress he had made with the Clan while chasing after Itachi. He didn't know what to do exactly, other than turn himself in for punishment when he got back, but he needed to think about saving Itachi first.

Shisui ducked inside the facility and took off at a run, stopping at each and every door to peak inside. Though there were a lot of doors, there didn't seem to be many residents. Of that Shisui was glad because they would likely try to get in his way. The place almost had a damp smell to it, likely from the clay and earth it was made from, and the air felt groggy and heavy. It was almost as if the very place itself was rejecting Shisui's presence. It was hard to breathe there.

Eventually, Shisui found a set of stairs. Despite clearly sensing Danzo and Orochimaru's chakra nearby, he had yet to run into them. It was almost as if he was being played with and—with a sickening feeling in his stomach—he realized it was likely the case. They wanted him to reach Itachi first before they made their appearance, which meant Itachi was likely down those stairs.

He carefully made his way down them, not entirely sure whether he would be ambushed or not, but too concerned for Itachi to stop.

He reached the bottom and looked around, noticing several cells. In the middle of one, there was a bed and strapped to it was Itachi, who appeared to be unconscious.

Shisui's heart skipped a beat and he carefully stepped forward, mindful of any traps. His heart sank when he found none. This was no coincidence or failure, it was a trap.

But it was a trap he was going to willingly fall into. He knew what Danzo wanted. This was all his fault in the first place.

After all, Hiruzen had said it himself...Danzo was likely after his eyes.

He stepped back and made the symbols for a jutsu, blowing the door off its hinges. Then, he entered the cell and rushed to Itachi's side, checking his pulse and sighing with relief when he found a weak and gentle throb that indicated Itachi was still alive.

He had been afraid for a moment, but he knew he shouldn't have been. There was no point in luring him here with a dead body. It wouldn't get Danzo what he wanted.

There was the sound of footsteps. Shisui froze halfway through getting Itachi out of the straps and onto his back, eyes narrowing as both Danzo and Orochimaru came into the room. Where had they been hiding?

“You showed exactly like I thought you would, Uchiha dog.” Danzo spat the word 'Uchiha' like it was nothing more than the dirt beneath his sandles. He stepped forward, his expression darkening and—without further warning—he was in Shisui's line of vision, hands reaching to pluck out one of his eyes.

Shisui barely had time to react, leaping back with Itachi half on his shoulder and half on his back, managing to avoid that searching hand.

Danzo came for him again and Orochimaru's chuckling could be heard in the distance. Shisui was cornered. But before Danzo could reach him--

An ANBU flashed in front of him, stopping the attack with his sword and parrying Danzo away. “Shisui-san, take Itachi and get out of here!”

Shisui realized ANBU had poured into the room and were engaging Danzo and Orochimaru, who looked like he was having the time of his life.

Shisui didn't wait for further instructions—he turned on his heel and flashed from the cell, running as fast as his legs would carry him.

* * *

 

The first thing Itachi felt was pain. It seared through his veins and pulsed behind his eyelids. Everything in his body felt wrong, like he had been hit by a giant rock and rolled over and few times for good measure. His eyes felt heavy and it was hard to open them, so he focused on sensing his surroundings first.

He was on someone's back. That was the first thing he realized. He was also in a forest, judging by the smell of damp leaves and the sound of crunching branches underneath feet.

And then—abruptly--he recognized the chakra he was pressed against and everything came back to him. His kidnapping, being strapped down to a bed and given some strange substance, feeling like his body was made of lead and falling into a slumber that he had feared he would never wake up from.

“S...Shi....s....ui...” He managed, his mouth feeling like it was full of cotton.

“Itachi!” Shisui turned his head just enough to see Itachi, smiling—though it was a little bit strained. “You're finally awake, we're almost home.”

Shisui had been afraid when Itachi didn't wake for several days, but he seemed to be okay now, so that gave him reason to calm down a little. Although, Itachi still didn't look so good. Concern welled in Shisui's chest, but he did his best to keep it from showing on his face. “How do you feel?”

“My body...feels...heavy...” Itachi grumbled and Shisui's lips twitched despite himself—Itachi sounded like a grumpy child waking from a nap too early. He shook his head and concentrated on his steps, making sure he didn't slip and put Itachi in danger.

“You can rest more when we're home, but for now try to stay awake, okay? I need to know you're okay.” It was a selfish request really, but after days and days of not hearing Itachi's voice, Shisui needed it to ground himself.

This experience was scarring for both of them, but while Itachi wasn't working through it yet, Shisui was already facing it, his mind conjuring all of the worst case scenarios—things like Itachi dying when they got to Konoha, Itachi not even making it to Konoha at all, his body being damaged to the point it was beyond repair--

No, he needed to stop thinking like this. Whatever Orochimaru's intentions for Itachi were, they seemed intent on keeping him alive. Shisui needed to focus on that and stop thinking of the worst case scenarios that his heart was bringing up in his fear.

He closed his eyes for a moment, traveling across branches on autopilot. _Calm down,_ he told himself. _Itachi's all right. Just focus on getting him back to Konoha._

It was difficult, but he managed to do just that.

Several hours later, Itachi found himself being examined by Tsunade. Her expression was unreadable and Shisui found himself growing increasingly uncomfortable from where he leaned against the wall.

There was a sad aura around Tsunade and Shisui couldn't help but remember that Tsunade and Orochimaru had been team mates once upon a time, friends even, before everything went to hell. Was she thinking about that now as she examined Itachi, knowing that this was Orochimaru's work, and feeling regret lick at her heart?

Itachi had fallen asleep again and Tsunade was quiet as she lead Shisui into the next room. “I think he's going to be fine,” Tsunade began. “--I'm no expert on Orochimaru's medicines, but I do know this—he was prepping Itachi to take his body. Whatever this is just needs to be flushed from his system before he can recover. It would make no sense for Orochimaru to harm Itachi when he needed him alive. It was likely meant to keep him unconscious during the procedure.”

Shisui's heart felt like ice as he stared at the door hiding Itachi from him and Tsunade's hands descended onto his shoulders, squeezing gently. Shisui's dark eyes met hers and a moment of silence passed before she smiled comfortingly.

“I'll work on flushing it from his system, but he needs you to be strong for him. What will my student think if he wakes up to you falling apart?”

Shisui sighed, his next breath shaky as he nodded in response. “All right, you're....you've got a point. I'm sorry.”

She shook her head and pulled away. But before she entered the room again, she tilted her head with a smirk. “Oh by the way, the Hokage summoned you...” She trailed off, amusement in her voice. “--And he sounded awfully pissed, so I would head over there before he comes here and disrupts my work.”

Shisui felt sweat cling to the back of his head. “Right. Uh...I'll head over there.” Boy, he was not looking forward to this...

He lept out a nearby window and headed toward the Hokage's office.

 


	16. Repurcussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shisui gets scolded and Itachi begins his recovery.

Hiruzen paced back and forth in front of Shisui, puffing on his pipe in silence. Shisui was tense as he waited for the inevitable snapping—the Hokage had even placed a silence seal on the office so no one would hear them. That only meant one thing.

He was about to get yelled at.

Finally, it came.

“Do you have any idea what you could have done?” Hiruzen turned to Shisui, eyes narrowing as he took in his tense form. “I was unable to keep this situation a secret from the Uchiha. Now they're angry. And you have to fix it.”

“You have to understand. Itachi is my best friend,” and lover, though he didn't say that out loud. Hiruzen puffed on his pipe angrily before taking it out of his mouth and glaring hard at Shisui.

“And you must understand that as much as I want to protect each individual shinobi, I have to think of the village as a whole. It's my job as Hokage to do so. As my confidential agent, it was your duty to do so as well.”

Shisui flinched—it was true. In that moment, he had chosen Itachi above the village, above the clan. Not for the first time, he grimaced, a familiar thought running through his head. _'I'm a terrible shinobi.'_

But for the first time since he thought it, he didn't really regret it. He didn't mind. _'But that's okay. Because I saved Itachi and I didn't let my eyes fall into Danzo's hands.'_

He may be getting punished, but at the very least he accomplished his goal. And Itachi was okay. He closed his eyes as Hiruzen's voice raised.

It would have to be enough.

* * *

 

Itachi next woke several hours later, glancing toward his bedside. Shisui was at his bedside, looking half-asleep as he struggled to stay awake. Itachi couldn't help but smile despite feeling groggy and nasty at the sight of his lover and best friend.

“Shi...”

Shisui bolted upright. “Itachi!” He paused for a moment before smiling back at him. “You're awake.”

“Was I asleep long?”

“For a few hours. But you've been sleeping for days before I found you, so I'm not surprised you didn't sleep long.” Granted, it was a medically induced sleep, but it was sleep nonetheless. Shisui's smile fell into a frown as he considered what to tell Itachi before he sighed and settled on the truth. “Orochimaru was preparing to take your body for his own. I saved you just in the nick of time.”

Itachi's expression fell and he glanced at the ceiling. “If you hadn't saved me...all because of this illness of mine...Konoha would have been in danger.”

Shisui flinched, unsure of how to take that. Sure, he had saved Itachi, but he had put Konoha in danger in order to do that technically. And it looked like Itachi was coming to the same conclusion. “You went after Danzo by yourself, despite knowing the risks. All to save my life.”

“Itachi...” Shisui swallowed thickly and nervously played with his own fingers, unsure of how to tell him this. He paused for a moment. “The village is very important to me, but...” Another pause, he hesitated.

“But...?”

“...” He took a deep breath. “I've felt this way for a long time now, but you're more important to me than the village.”

Itachi's expression dampened. “Shisui...that's...”

“I know, it's wrong.” Shisui sighed and stared down at his own knees, unsure of how to proceed. “...but it happened before I could stop it. Before I knew it, I would do anything for you. I've felt this way for years.”

“Shis--”

“I love you, Itachi.” He finished with a soft smile, his eyes twinkling with affection and sadness at the same time. “I love you more than I love this village. And I'm not ashamed of it, no matter how much of a terrible shinobi that makes me.”

Itachi stared at him with wide eyes for several moments before his breath finally left him. “...I love you too.”

Shisui leaned over and pressed his lips to Itachi's forehead. “You focus on getting rest. Your body might not move properly for a while.” Despite everything, his smile was real as he pulled away. “I'll be back to check on you later.”

He needed to talk to Fugaku. The future of the Uchiha clan rested on his shoulders. They felt heavy as he left the hospital room, his eyes darkening as he stared down at the floor.

He needed to use his jutsu on Fugaku again..and fast, before things got out of hand and Shisui's actions cost Konoha a fortune.

* * *

 

It took Itachi days before he managed to get up and walk around properly. It was frustrating for him, feeling so weak, but his body had been in bad shape even before he'd been given whatever drug was in his system. Tsunade was busy studying what she'd flushed from his body, so Itachi was mostly left to his own devices. It seemed whatever had been done to Itachi had ended his illness flare up at the very least, so in the end some good came from it. It seemed Orochimaru had been working on a cure. Whether or not it worked long-term was yet to be seen, but it only made sense that if Orochimaru was going to take his body that he'd worked on a cure for his illness. After all, the body would be stuck with it, even after Itachi's consciousness ceased.

For the moment, he wasn't allowed to work. So he spent most of the time doing chakra exercises to keep himself in shape. He was frustrated at how taxing it was to his body to do something like that. He couldn't wait until he would be back to normal and could get back to work. At least he wasn't coughing up blood or anything of the sort.

He sighed and decided to focus on getting better instead of complaining.

He had a long road ahead of him, after all.

 


	17. Realizations and Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shisui figures out who the real target is for Orochimaru and Hiruzen's heart never stops breaking.

When Itachi was finally allowed to go back to Shisui's house, he was relieved. However, Shisui seemed busier than normal, likely due to his punishment for going against the Hokage's orders, so Itachi actually felt a little bit lonely...Tsunade came to visit and so did Sasuke and his Mother, bringing his Father once and only once.

They had awkwardly stared at one another before Fugaku reached out and gently grasped Itachi's shoulder. “I am...glad to know you're safe and...thankful to your cousin for bringing you home. Do tell him that.” Makoto looked like she was on the verge of splitting her face with her smile and Itachi wondered just how much Fugaku had been lectured on the way there.

Judging by the fierceness of Makoto's hug, he would guess a lot.

Now, Itachi was up and walking around. He still didn't feel right as he moved through the kitchen, his body not responding the way it was supposed to even if it was picking up a spoon. It was frustrating as hell, but he knew it was part of the recovery process. Being a medic-nin gave him a whole new perspective to work with on recovery and he knew he had to be patient. His body was trying to right itself after being asleep for way too long. A medically induced coma was still a coma, after all. He had been lucky nothing was actually damaged.

Currently, he was attempting to make dinner. He was having trouble with some of his motor skills, his body sluggish, but he was managing at the very least. Still, even though he was distracted, he felt Shisui's chakra at the door of the kitchen and couldn't stop the smile from spreading on his lips.

“You're back. Welcome home.”

“Thanks,” Shisui sighed and strode forward to flop in a chair, sounding and looking exhausted. Itachi turned and walked over to him after checking the timer above the stove and deeming the oven didn't need checking for a few minutes.

Itachi reached out and gently cupped his lover's cheeks in hand. “You look tired. What does he have you doing?”

“Researching, almost non-stop.” Shisui groaned, but managed a smile. “It's my own fault. He said that if I wanted to be involved that badly, I should head the investigation into Danzo and Orochimaru.” Itachi's eyes widened slightly, but then they narrowed as his gaze trailed off to look to the side.

Shisui frowned and grasped Itachi's wrist. “Your hands are cold,” he mumbled before pulling Itachi down into his arms. Itachi jerked, but didn't protest further as he was wrapped up in his lover's warm arms.

“I'm always cold.”

“I know and it scares the shit out of me.” Shisui pressed a soft kiss to Itachi's hair and the younger man carefully twisted in his arms so he was straddling Shisui's lap, smiling down at him.

“You worry too much,” he whispered, eyes softening. “I've lived my whole life with this condition. It's not going to kill me now. And--” He pressed a finger to Shisui's lips when he moved to protest. “--Besides, I've actually felt better now than I've felt in years, sans my motor skills. I haven't coughed in days.”

Shisui sighed and let his hands drop to his lover's waist. “That's good—I know it is—but I just...can't help but remember what you looked like unconscious on that table every time I look at you.”

Itachi waited a moment before leaning in and brushing their lips together. “I'm here now,” he whispered against his mouth, resting their foreheads together. “--because of you, I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere...okay? Not if I have anything to say about it. It might sound weird, but I'm actually grateful this happened. Now I can only get stronger without my illness holding me back.”

“Yeah well...” Shisui reached up to rub the back of his head while keeping one hand on Itachi's waist. “Don't go sending Orochimaru a thank you note or anything like that. I'm sure he's going to try again.” Or worse...Shisui's lips pulled in a frown. If what his sources said were true...Itachi had only been a temporary solution. He wasn't the real target, his body too fragile for what Orochimaru really needed.

If Shisui was right...

….then Orochimaru was actually after Sasuke....and he didn't know how Itachi would handle that, so until he had more evidence, he decided to wait.

* * *

 

Several days later, Hiruzen puffed on his pipe as he stared across the desk at Shisui, who was standing at ready. “Are you sure?”

Shisui didn't even hesitate before nodding. “It's the conclusion I've come to after analyzing Orochimaru's history and actions this past month,” Shisui began, tapping a picture of Orochimaru attached to documents sitting on Hiruzen's desk. “I thought it seemed suspicious that Orochimaru didn't send anyone after us when we left. Danzo is one thing, but Orochimaru seemed...almost unconcerned with the fact that his experiment,” he winced at the word, “--had gotten away.”

“Further--” He slid a few papers out of the way. “Notice that the last few bodies that he's taken—at least that we know of—have something in common.”

“They're all getting increasingly younger.”

“Bingo,” Shisui tapped on the picture of Orochimaru. “Now, he may be a vile man, but I sincerely doubt he's doing that to get his rocks off.” He shuddered at the thought. “There has to be a reason for it...which is what we've been looking into. We believe that the younger the body is, the better suited it is for his jutsu. Also, as much as he wanted it, Itachi's body was not an ideal. He's been sickly since he was a young boy. If Orochimaru took his body, he would inherit that as well or it would require intensive research for a cure. It's not exactly an ideal situation, not in the eyes of someone who wants immortality.”

Hiruzen looked almost unbearably sad as he spoke the next words. “...and so the next best thing...would be...”

“...” Shisui moved the documents out of the way, revealing a file on Sasuke Uchiha. The boy was no more than eight years old, his grin still bright, eyes shining as he stared into the camera. “...Sasuke.”

Hiruzen closed his eyes and rested his forehead against his hands. Was his heartbreak never to end? It seemed like his precious people were destined to suffer or become out of his reach.

Orochimaru may never have been within his reach to begin with...and Danzo...well...Hiruzen still had difficulty processing that particular betrayal. His heart clenched whenever he thought of the man he had trusted.

But Orochimaru had been his student. He was supposed to teach him, bring him into the shinobi world with the tools he needed to survive.

But he hadn't done that. He'd messed up somewhere. This...no...it had to be his fault somewhere down the line. His fingers shook from a mix of anger and despair and Shisui respectfully looked away as a single tear rolled down the Hokage's cheek.

In the next moment, his eyes were raised, a fierceness in them that Shisui hadn't been expecting. “Thank you, you are dismissed.”

“Yes, Hokage-sama.” Shisui flashed away, leaving the Hokage to his thoughts.

 


End file.
